Full Moon Madness?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Full Moon Madness?
4
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 6:10am
Ok Ladies,

We had a full moon this week in the touchy-feely sign of lovable Taurus. Most of you probably already know that the moon rules our emotions, our 28 day cycle and the ocean's tides. Some pretty powerful stuff, eh? It is no surprise to me that so many of you stumbled this week, and my guess is that most of you are feeling a little raunchy because of it. Why I am writing this post is to tell all of you that our emotions CAN be controlled, regardless of the extenuating circumstances that pull them in different directions. So, listen up......

#1. YOU are the master of your thoughts. No one but you can control them.

#2. YOU are the master of your of your actions. Only you can put one foot in front of the other to move forward. Dwelling on the past, puts you in the past.

#3. Honesty is the "only" policy to complete freedom. Affairs are dishonest and therefore contradictory to your freedom of thought and action.

Life is all about choices; You chose to get married, you chose to have children, you chose to have a career or be a SAHM. You chose to cheat on your husband. You chose to get involved with a married man. We make good choices, and we make terrible choices, but the bottom line is that NO ONE forced you to do any of these things. WE are accountable for our own choices, and if we discover that we have made the wrong one, then we have to rectify it. It's called "Being Responsible" for our own actions.

The leaders/old timers on this board advocate "NC" for a reason, because it works. Yes, in the beginning there is pain, discomfort, withdrawal, depression, stress; just a ton of goodies that rip us apart and weaken our resolve. We flounder, we falter, we cry, we hurt, and then we run back to the "source" of our infliction for a quick fix. We get that quick high, only to crash and burn moments later...And then we discover that NOTHING has changed. Mr. Wonderful is still Mr. Jerk. And the cycle begins all over again....

Take a few minutes today to reflect on "WHY" you decided to end your affair in the first place. My guess it was because of one of the following: Feeling used, being lied to, feeling rejected, false promises, guilt, betrayal, disrespected, shall I go on? Your wounded spirit was crying out to you that something needs to STOP and so you acted upon it. THIS was a good choice, counterattacking the terrible one. It's only understandable that an inner battle ensued, with all of the pain and agony of war, but hey, "No pain, no gain, eh?" You need to decide just how important freedom rings in your life. No one can do it for you.

~True~


 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 8:19am
Thanks for the morning message. Your description of the "wounded spirit" was powerful. It's been 7 days of NC for me, and I can feel the wound ebbing and my spirit lifting.
---Golda
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 5:34pm
Hi True:

Great post. Bumping it to the top for more of us affair junkies to read.

While I've got your attention, I want to tell you that you're my hero. It's your post several weeks ago entitled, "Had a bitter-sweet day..." that's giving me the strength to stop all contact with XMM. I read it every time I start feeling wimpy. These men are clueless and careless as to what they put we women through while they get their jollies. Most of them are just users and it's up to us to put a stop to it. XMM is a serial cheater. Oh yeah, love 'em and leave 'em are his steadfast rules. There's no telling how far the trail of women he's wounded goes back. He even told me before we ever slept together, "...don't hate me." Like he knew exactly how it would end. Well, I tell ya right now, he's met his match. I played my role like none other and now I've got him right where I want him practically begging for my attention. Too bad. For the rest of his life he'll think of me as, "the one that got away". HA! I LOVE it, and I have you to thank. Hat's off to you, True.

fresh

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 6:57pm
~Fresh~

<<>>

{{{{{BLUSH}}}}}

Wow! My heart was racing as I read your post to me. I don't know what to say....um......ah....golly......Thank you? Hah! Reminds me of that commercial. To even think that I may have been that spur in your boot that got you all riled up to "kick him to the curb" puts this huge smile on my face. But dear lady, YOU did the dirty work. YOU became the captain of your own ship, and YOU navigated out of those rough emotional waters all by yourself. Hat's off to you too, matey!

You know, I had already forgotten about my thread, "Bitter-Sweet Day" so I went back and read it a few moments ago. That was over 6 weeks ago, and since I believe there ARE no coincidences, I am pleased that you mentioned it. I really DID need to read it again...and I am happy to report to all of you that the friendship my boss wanted to retain is still not happening. I just CAN'T go back there again. I am cordial to him, I laugh at his stupid jokes, I bid him good evening when he leaves, but seeing this man out of the "affair-fog" has done wonders in realising what WAS then, to what IS now. THEN, I was officially "OFF MY ROCKER."

The words "Love is blind" could not ring any clearer to me than it has these last few months. I can't even remember having feelings for him; How's that for stuffing? :) What I see now is "just a man." He is no longer the most intelligent, most loving, most wonderful, most exciting person I have ever met. Now he is just a plain and simple man, no different than any other Joe Schmo on the street. I haven't a clue as to when I lost my "love" goggles, but I pity the person who may have found them. They were SUPER STRENGTH Plexiglass with little suction cups attached that kept them in place for 4 long years... ;)

Anywho, I am rambling.. So tired that my fingers are stuck to the keyboard. It's been a long life (tee-hee) but again dear "Fresh", thank you for reminding me that hard work pays huge dividends. I'll race you to the bank.....

~True~

PS: ****And to Golda K**** You wrote <<>>>

You've got it going on! This is the beginning to reestablishing your love of self. It will continue to lift you higher with each passing day, I promise. In time, the spirit breaks free from the pain, leading you out of the darkness.






Edited 10/29/2004 7:16 pm ET ET by b_true_2_yourself

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:23pm
Hi True,

Very good, as usual. I too had a bad moment this week, but I'm fine and back on the right track and will remain there.

Thanks for your helpful and supportive words.

IP