get out the NC stick-I need smacked NOW

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
get out the NC stick-I need smacked NOW
16
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:17am
I need your support today. I have been doing amazingly well for the past few days. Keeping busy, spending time with friends and H. I have been positive and feeling like I am doing the right thing. Then I woke up today. I had a dream about him last night, I thought about him all morning, and then I saw his wife when I was leaving for work. I am so sad. Not only that..and maybe more so, I am pissed that he hasn't tried to contact me. For some reason, I want him to contact me so I can ignore him. How childish is that. I want to think he is feeling the same pain that I am feeling. Why do I care? because I'm evil I don't know. I know its only day 10, but I am caving....please give me support I really need it.

Our receptionist called off today so I have to put on a smiling face for clients. Hopefully they won't notice my big red nose and blotchy face because I've been crying all morning.

I want to call him......e-mail.....text.....anything.

:( Frisco

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:40am
Frisco059

What your feeling is 100 percent normal, your going to have good periods and some bad days mixed in, if you refuse to cave to the urges they will pass and you will get past them and be glad you did, if you cave your going to get nothing for doing so but pain ,regret and guilt/shame, SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO.

Keep posting today stay connected to you support group, vent here don't give in and let him win.

OH and SLAP SLAP SLAP, wake up and smell the coffee.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:52am
Thanks for the slap, it actually made me smile.....

I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 9:48am
Frisco,

You can do this and you will. I have the same feeling as you many times a day but I haven't given in and you won't either. Sometimes when I get the urge I shop on line, that always makes me feel better and doesn't hurt the fact my fall wardrobe and shoe wardrobe are getting bigger either :) Or the fact that the UPS man is hot and I get to see him on a daily basis :)

DAF

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 9:59am
STEP ~AWAY~ FROM THE CELL PHONE!! lol

*waves NC Stick menacingly*

*you hear a sound not dissimilmar to a light sabre*

Good days & bad days, break it down to good & bad moments, hon. The majority of your moments will be good ones and you're hanging yourself up on the not so good ones. Keep busy and the urge will pass. Give in to it and you perpetuate the feel-bad :/

Wishing you strength & peace,

Posie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:05am
Yes! Lmao Daf.. Wonder what it is up with the UPS

guys mine is hot too ;) When I feel down I go to

Ebay! Hey it makes me feel good to "win" something

there lol..

Lost

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:17am
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Edited 10/1/2004 6:22 pm ET ET by sally289
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:22am
Frisco, I am afraid I am not one to offer advice today, as I am having the exact same thoughts you are. It seems to be a rough day so far for all of us. You have made it this far, so don't turn back now. Think of what contacting him would accomplish - nothing. You will probably feel worse, especially if/when he doesn't respond. Try to keep busy today, I know I am (as I sit, cellphone on desk, email account open, LOL). If you need to send an email, you can send one to me, because we all know I am just sitting here, waiting, just like you are!

Hugs, hope your day gets better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:41am
Frisco-If you've been reading my posts, you'll know that I did cave and reply to his e-mails. After only 1 day of a few e-mails, I am treading in very deep waters and barely keeping my head up. It is too long to go into now and I don't know where it's going at the moment, but I can tell you that any small amount of strength, peace and acceptance I had gained has been totally wiped out now. If you can possibly maintain the NC, do it. I should have listened but I had to find out for myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 11:18am
(((TOOSMART))))

"It is too long to go into now and I don't know where it's going at the moment, but I can tell you that any small amount of strength, peace and acceptance I had gained has been totally wiped out now."

TooSmart, that strength, peace and acceptance you gained has NOT been totally wiped out! It may have been beat up a little and pushed to the bottom of the stack, but it IS still there. You've learned so much, and you can't take that away. You just need to dig deep and FIND it again, dust it of and hold on to it this time!

I had a big setback last weekend, too. And I felt the same way you do. I had begun to have periods of peace and strength, and I thought I had undone it all. You know what? I did lose a little footing, but I am slowly gaining it back through NC and LOTS of posting and reading here. It will keep you grounded and connected.

You'll be ok. Email me if you ever need to talk! You haven't undone all the good you've done, you just need to recommit to it.

:)

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 12:56pm


Hi Frisco,

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now u can do the same for me. Day 17, what a bitch of couple weeks this has been.

Hang in there, stay strong, I feel the same way today. I almost picked up the phone and called him today. I came straight to this board and thank god I did. I get so much strength from here it is incredible.....

Stay in touch today. Dont break the NC you will be fine. The receptionist not being there today may have been a blessing in disguise for you. More work less to think about.

Hugs.....

Lady Bug

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