Getting up the courage...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Getting up the courage...
11
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 7:41am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 8:04am

"I will be deleting THAT woman."

What more incentive do you need Alice?

It's time Alice. You wanna show yourself that things are different for you in ending this time, or are you just going to say it to yourself. If you really are DONE, and you really aren't going back - then for god-sakes woman delete that freaking account. AND EVERY SINGLE EMAIL IN IT!

We've all btdt and had to face that final piece of closure.

If you're still keeping emails (email account), you're still barganing. If you still want this connection to him, you're still barganing. And another thing - sometimes we just aren't ready. Sometimes we can't afford to wait until *we are ready* because you know what? My kids sure as heck weren't *ready* for their family to disolve. My *friends* sure as heck weren't ready for me to disappear out of thier lives. My *H* sure as heck wasn't ready to confront the choices I had made.

Hear what I am saying. Sometimes, we just don't get the *luxury* of being ready when no one, NOT A ONE, of the people in our lives were ever ready for what we had done to them.

DELETE.

TU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 8:26am
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 10:07am

Alice,

Do not use this as an excuse to contact xAP and "ask" him to delete his emails from you.

I thought

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 10:08am
Hi Alice,

I had these roses that I got from xap, I had dried them out and put them in this really cool vase I have. They had been sitting on the fireplace for months and I liked how they flowed with the candles I have. I didn't think they held any importance to me. But they did, everytime I dusted the darn vase I would be reminded of why I got those flowers but I would say oh Jen they are just some dried up flowers and yesterday when I read the board I saw alwayst2 post on deleting emails. Her courage to delete really stood out for me just as yours is by getting ready to delete as well. I took those darned flowers and the vase up to the parks garbage can and tossed them out yesterday afternoon! Good for you on deleting:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 10:18am

Jen!!! I am so proud of you, as well. :smileyvery-happy:

It does take courage to sever the ties because we are still trying to hold on to something--anything--that keeps us "close" to him, or shows us that he cared for us, or helps us justify in some way the A. Then we realize

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 10:27am

What TU and Alice said...ya better had deleted it all. ALL of it. Or I am going to put you on EAS punishment. WE will ground you till ya can think a bit straight. And it does not matter if he has evidence. SO THE HELL WHAT....a dday is always in the midst. ALWAYS.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 11:34am

Alice good for you!

Change is an action word and you are making appropriate changes.

<>

Why do you ask because as Luvin pointed out the only person who would probably email it is xAP? You deleted the email not as a punishment to him or to hurt him but for you and because you want to move forward past this…right?

So…you know my speech about motivations and just a brief review here:

Actions done to hurt xAP, get a rise out of him/her, a underlying idea that it will prompt them to contact you in another way or the good ol” I’ll show him/her;" are all lined with alterior motives full of expectations.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 11:44am
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 11:48am
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 3:17pm

Sooooooooooo???

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