getting the MALE point of view on affair
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getting the MALE point of view on affair
| Mon, 09-06-2004 - 7:41pm |
who amongst us would LOVE to hear what the MM has to say about being in an affair??? his point of view,? his complaints? his hurts? his reasons why?? I for one, have heard my own MM give me his views on why he wanted to stop it. "tired of the ups and downs, tired of the fighting, tired of trying to please me, tired of the pressure from his wife AND me, tired of things not going anywhere, trying to get over the whole thing" "becoming too dependent on me" " loving me, but just cant leave the wife"...lol...: but my MM was and is a jerk, so I would love to hear from other men?? come on ladies, how do we get the MEN to say what they really really feel? and think? Might give us some real insight? to help us let go as easily as they do!!!

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Yes, I am married to my last affair partner.
The experience has been "interesting" to say the least. Each of us has 4 children, so a total of 8. Life has been a challenge trying to make it work. For the most part the children get along fairly well. They're older now, youngest will be 18 next month. Oldest is 30. 3 currently in college and 4 next year. It's taken years for the ex-spouses to accept their responsibility in the failure of our marriages.
From what I've read the statistics on successful marriages after the affair currently run at 2% success rate.
If you and MM are both separated, I suggest you both follow through with your divorce filings and keep moving forward to get single. I presume both of you are ending your respective marriages because of the need to end the marriage because it has failed, not solely because the grass is greener with your part-time partner in the affair.
I'm not trying to scare you off, only trying to point out that a second marriage takes effort to be successful, including sel-examination to rid yourself of the baggage that caused your first marriages to fail. If you don't lose the baggage, the odds are that you will find a reason to have another affair and another failed marriage.
I wish you well.
It can work. I hope it does so for you.......
Wanted to offer my thanks as well for putting yourself on the chopping block and for being completely honest. It answered a few questions for me that I was frankly too chicken to ask MM and confirmed why I ended the A to begin with--that he was in it simply for the sex, which means I would've never gotten what I needed from him (the emotional). Which is...kind of really depressing, in a "But I don't WANT to face the truth!" stubborn kind of way. lol
Just had to say thanks. :)
Edited 2/16/2005 1:16 pm ET ET by iris304
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