Getting over it? re Dear Prudie
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| Thu, 08-19-2004 - 10:29pm |
Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend and I were together for over four years when he decided to move out because he felt I wasn't in love with him. I thought we were going to try to work things out and in fact had planned on proposing this Christmas. I am beyond miserable now, and to make things worse, I know he's already moved on to a younger, prettier, woman who wants sex constantly (an area we had problems with). I just got laid off so I literally have nothing to do but separate our stuff and mourn while horrible images of MY boyfriend gleefully shagging away play through my mind. My family can only tell me to snap out of it. My usual remedies are proving useless. Do you have any pointers on how to get through the worst part of a breakup?
—Shocked To Be Alone
Dear Shock,
This is always a terrible time for the one who didn't want the breakup, but try to take it on faith that you won't always feel like this. While not saying what your "usual remedies" are, Prudie hopes they are not bourbon, 24-hour poker games, or playing Peggy Lee go-to-hell music. What you need is the gift of acceptance, in a couple areas: 1) that there were problems with the relationship and, for whatever reason, you were not able to make him feel loved; 2) he is with someone new. To get through it, you need ways to get your mind off his new flame and what you think they are doing all the time. This can be helped along by looking for a new job, old friends, volunteering, and maybe even a change of scenery. In other words, get busy, if only to distract yourself so that your main activity is not sawing sawdust. Time really is a great healer.
—Prudie, reconstructively
~Chris~<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />



~Chris~<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />