getting tired

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
getting tired
17
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 8:45am

I know that I'm in the fight of my life for my emotional self. But right now, I feel like I'm in the 12th round of a boxing match and I'm about to go down. I guess I'm going about this like I do everything - with full force. But I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm tired of being sad. I've been reading and writing and processing and crying and doing everything I can to stay busy. I am having moments of peace, but I feel like it's so hard to achieve even that. And I think about XAP just going about his life.

I feel like a selfish brat because there are those of you out there that have to deal with LC and husbands. There are some things coming up in the next few weeks that will be hard - his birthday and a few golf outings that I know he will be at.

Not sure what I'm looking for here, maybe just an energy drink and someone to tell me I'll get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Bodhi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: bodhi2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 1:23pm

(((Bodhi)))


You've been given some wonderful advice and support. I'd like to add that you cannot overlook the fact that you are also grieving the end of this relationship. The first week or two we are running on adrenaline just trying to keep ahead of that thick fog that

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
In reply to: bodhi2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 3:32pm

(((Iddy)))

I sure have. And I think you're right - I am grieving. And the "edge" is starting to wear off. Thanks for the B vitamin. Fortunately, I am strong, determined and goal oriented, but I have a feeling I'm really going to need you in the next few weeks. :)

Bodhi


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: bodhi2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 5:38pm

(((Bodhi)))


You have my email address. Write to me anytime. I try to check that server a couple times a day so if you don't hear from me right away, don't be disheartened. Iddy is very busy at work with quarter and year end, but I want to be there for you.


(((Hugs)))


   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
In reply to: bodhi2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 5:54pm

Bodhi- I am sorry I am late posting. My job is super busy right now and I can't check this during the day. I just wanted to pipe in and say you've received some very insightful advice- advice, that if followed, will bring you closer and closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. Will yourself forward. Ups and downs are a part of the process- but they will get easier, I promise. I am almost 6 months out now and back to living MY life. Xap creeps in every once in awhile, but I am able to push him out with little effort. You will get to that point. Just keep moving forward. New SEason is right- these downs are just growth spurts. You have to feel this pain to recover. And you will.

Hugs,

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
In reply to: bodhi2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 5:57pm

I'm so glad you said that! Can you email me again so I have your address? I deleted your emails before I realized that the auto fill didn't work :( Let me know if you don't have mine.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
In reply to: bodhi2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 6:07pm

Thank you Jane :)

I've had great advice today, and I am SO grateful for all of you. I will keep doing what I'm doing. I have to get past it this time.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: bodhi2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 8:09pm

You can email me through my profile again but let me know it's you by signing it Bodhi.


Hope you are feeling a little bit better this evening.

   ~Iddy~ 


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