Glad to have this board

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Glad to have this board
3
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 9:18pm

Well it's been a long weekend, though very busy and very fun. I had to model wedding dresses for my girlfriend today who is pregnant and on bedrest and can't move around a lot. It felt kind of weird to have a wedding dress on again, but we had a good time anyway.

In the midst of this weekend, and being happy and having a good time I was thinking that maybe I would contact xmm and let him know that I was thinking of him and hope he's doing well. It's been a while with NC and I'm starting to feel like myself again, so I figured I'm strong enough to hear from him without being affected by it.

Then I get home and jump on here, read a few posts and wonder to myself "what the hell are you thinking?!!!" Why would I even WANT to conact him? After feeling so empowered lately and knowing that he probably thinks I'm over him, why would I want to ruin that? The ball is still in my court. I still have the upper hand here and I was thinking about giving it away? I DON'T THINK SO!!!

So I just wanted to say thank you all once again for being here and helping me, even if you didn't realize that you had! I know he's been calling my work and hanging up on whoever answers. (I don't have proof, but it only happens when I'M there, and never on my days off or weekends, so I'm guessing its him. ) Plus, he tried calling my cell on friday, and I know this because it only came across with a number (no name) so I looked the number up on switchboard and it was a number from one of his business accts. I don't know why he's calling, but he doesn't know that I know it's him, and I'm just ignoring it anyway. Makes me feel good to know that I'm still on his mind while he thinks that I've moved on!!!

I love how I'm feeling these days. And I think I have all of you to thank for it. You keep me strong!! I appreciate it.

PAL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 9:26pm

PAL I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!

I hate Caps Lock, but it is so appropriate here!

I just want to scream it from the rooftops!

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Amen sister! Stay strong!

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

"When I meet a man, I ask myself 'Is t

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 5:06am

(((PAL)))


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I can sooooo relate to

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 7:46am

Pal-

I can relate to that feelign b/c I have it right now however I am still feeling it and trying to be strong. I have been thinking all weekend thar very thing.. "I am strong now. we can talk and just be freinds". However I know in my head it isnt in my best interest and that I need to keep the NC.Just hoping I can do it. Does that feeling pass too?? Just when I think i get passed one emotion, I feel like I am fighting a new one.

Thanks

Bria