GMLB-Are you a Tweener Today?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
GMLB-Are you a Tweener Today?
11
Mon, 08-16-2010 - 3:36pm

Well, I am just so freaking

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Mon, 08-16-2010 - 6:37pm

Awwwwwww, New you made my day. Such a good memory and considering that I am only on EAS right now because I forgot what I really got on the computer to do, I am very impressed.


Yes, you are right. Today marks day 90 of ZERO contact with XMM and I couldnt have done it without all of you here. I came here in November and read all that I could but I still waited till May to go NC. You guys led me to water but I didnt drink till I had enough.....enough pain and drama and I couldnt take anymore.


NC works. Our A's are an addiction and we have to completly remove the addiction from our lives, there is no other way. I find now that I see the difference between getting over XMM and getting over the A. You may think they are one in the same but to me, they are different. I did deeply care for XMM but he is someone that I never would have dated in RL. Not my type at all. Getting over my feelings for him was much easier than I thought. I cared for him but when I saw his true colors, it was an eye opener.


But as for the A??? Much harder for me to get over. I betrayed my H and I have to live with that every single day and sometimes I ask myself what was so lacking in myself and my life that I thought an A would help??? I stole from my children...moments Ill never get back, hurried through homework so I could email XMM, rushed through dinner (if I even bothered to make one) so I could check and see if he emailed me. I rushed through phone calls with my mom, my mond was always somewhere else and never where it should have been. My work suffered, my co workers took notice and so did my boss, I was texting ALL THE TIME at work. The A touched every single aspect of my life and unfortunately left its fingerprint behind. Its been very hard moving past the havoc I created during those 16 mths.


But let me tell you...I NEVER want to be that woman that I was in the Fall of 2008. She felt entitled and worthy of having someone fawn all over her, make her feel special and loved. I despise that woman today and I never want to ever be her again. Ive done nothing over the past 3 months but try and become a better person, better wife, mother, daughter, friend and employee and I promise to continue to work on that.


The life sentance for me may be never being able to let my guard down

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Mon, 08-16-2010 - 6:44pm

Did you hear that!?

"CLING"

That is me raising my bottle and toasting to you!

You're AMAZING GMLB. I have so enjoyed your posts (-:

You have worked the 'program' hard and it is amazing to read this post from you today. The growth is so impressive. I continue to learn from you and from how you view 'recovery'. There is such a difference, isn't there? Between getting over xAP and the affair. I hadn't really thought about it - even though I knew from almost the get go that he and I would NEVER make it in RL - it was the addiction to the affair highs that was hard to let go of. That's what I crave - not Him. "He" never existed.

My best to you ... I love the sound of your wings flapping.

Soar my friend,

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 08-16-2010 - 6:47pm

GMLB,


It is indeed your lucky day. Just in, fresh off the Tweener Wing assembly line are your wings and may I say, they are quite stunning for a very special ender.


wing


   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Mon, 08-16-2010 - 7:23pm

GMLB,
You have a special place in my heart. You responded to my very first post. You and I ended about the same time and we had a lot in common. I cannot think of a more desirable person to have on Tweener Island than my GMLB! Finally! I am so happy that you've reached this milestone and I congratulate you with the highest praise and sincerity!

Busting with pride,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 10:16am

*clink, clink*


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 10:32am

Congratulations GMLB :) I'm so happy for you!

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 5:49pm

A big HIGH FIVE to you, GMLB!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 7:52pm
CONGRATS!! Welcome to Tweenerville!! No turning back now chicka!! You got it going on and now its time to keep it poppin!!
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 6:14am

Many Congrats GMLB, awesome effort, especially considering the stress of a couple of weeks ago.....


Your Tweener acceptance speech was great,


Stay happy NC x

No Cheating, No Compromise, No Contact!


NC since

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 11:43am

(((Clunk)))


That’s my tub-o-coffee hitting your Samuel Adams!


I know two angles Hark and Harold. Now I officially know a third!


Congrats!


Iddy,


Those wings should come with a screen brightness adjustment warning.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

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