GOING FROM LOVERS TO FRIENDS
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GOING FROM LOVERS TO FRIENDS
| Wed, 02-04-2004 - 5:37am |
My affair was with a friend thru work who is a cop.
It happended so fast and was so intense for 5 months.
We are both married and from the start agreed that we would keep it physical and not get emotional. I thought it was working until another cop friend questioned me about it, he said he could see it coming for a while and believes that we are both in denial about not having any emotional feelings for each other.
Well, yesterday, my mm called me and said we needed to talk. He said with all the stress of his job situation right now and our affair, that he hasn't been able to eat or sleep for a while and has been very short with his wife, kids, and his troops at work. Everyone knows something is up. He said he can't afford to lose his job or his family.He said he wants us to remain friends because he feels like he can talk to me about anything. I told him that I understand and that I can still be his friend. He asked me twice if I was sure I could do it and asked me if I had gotten emotionally involved, I told him I could handle being friends and that I hadn't gotten emotionally involved, even though I think I was. He told me that I have a good man for a husband, which is true and that he honestly believes that if my husband ever found out about our affair, that my husband would come after him with a venegance, I do believe that. I will miss our times together and our private talks at work. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to handle going back to being friends as if nothing ever happened?
It happended so fast and was so intense for 5 months.
We are both married and from the start agreed that we would keep it physical and not get emotional. I thought it was working until another cop friend questioned me about it, he said he could see it coming for a while and believes that we are both in denial about not having any emotional feelings for each other.
Well, yesterday, my mm called me and said we needed to talk. He said with all the stress of his job situation right now and our affair, that he hasn't been able to eat or sleep for a while and has been very short with his wife, kids, and his troops at work. Everyone knows something is up. He said he can't afford to lose his job or his family.He said he wants us to remain friends because he feels like he can talk to me about anything. I told him that I understand and that I can still be his friend. He asked me twice if I was sure I could do it and asked me if I had gotten emotionally involved, I told him I could handle being friends and that I hadn't gotten emotionally involved, even though I think I was. He told me that I have a good man for a husband, which is true and that he honestly believes that if my husband ever found out about our affair, that my husband would come after him with a venegance, I do believe that. I will miss our times together and our private talks at work. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to handle going back to being friends as if nothing ever happened?

Good luck and if it works for you let me know how in the world you did it.
Anyone else out there have any thoughts?
(edited for a typo)
Edited 2/4/2004 8:02:09 PM ET by alifechoice
Get a best friend to hear you out, and be your voice of reason. Everytime you want to text him or email him, tell your best friend to stop you.
my two cents' worth...
These things always lead to fights and confrontations and tears, and it is just so damn difficult!
A part of me wants to just be friends to remove the teasing and the torture. A part of me wants to keep having him walk me into lingerie shops because it is so titillating!
You can still walk into lingerie stores by yourself! :-)