Gosh...I just drove by his house

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Gosh...I just drove by his house
8
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 10:21pm

Edited 2/8/2005 9:53 am ET ET by littlesoul2


Edited 2/8/2005 9:53 am ET ET by littlesoul2
Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 5:44am
Dont beat yourself up. People deal with heartache in different ways. He may be suffering inside, but just look like everyting is okay on the outside. My OM, also ignored email etc.. and the girls here have said that he is suffering, but knows that NC is the best. I was sad at first, but really the truth is if it is over and it is over honey, then NC is the best. Resist any kind of driving by etc. what if he saw you? Think of your self respect, dont let him think you NEED him. You are stronger than that. good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 9:26am

Yes I totally agree with this,
<<<>>>
I was so tempted at first to really get involved in trying to figure out what xOM was up to and keep tabs on his sorry a*s. But I am so much better than that. YOU are so much better than that. How embarassed would you feel if he saw you drive by? I would feel like such a schmuck! As much as I want to know what my pretend (and that is exactly how you have to look at it) boyfriend is doing, it doesn't even matter anymore.
Keep breathing and take it one day at a time.
Good luck!

~nuttmeg

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 10:28am

T)


Edited 2/8/2005 7:05 pm ET ET by littlesoul2
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 11:02am

Hi there,

I am going through something similar myself (see my post - "should I email xOM?)I am heartbroken about it but know that NC is for the best. I am so very conflicted right now. One moment I am crying over what I've done to DH (he doesn't know) and proclaiming my love for him. The next minute I am fantasizing about OM and being out on my own. My head tells me that it is silly - I have only had "fun" times with OM and didn't even have a real relationship. Not to mention that it wouldn't work anyway - how could he ever trust me? (he is single) But my heart tells me he is Mr. Perfect" and my soulmate. There is another part of me that wishes I never even met him. I agree with the advice that people have given you and I am going to take it myself.

I have a question: Does DH know about your OM? ANd if you don't mind me asking, what were the circumstances of your A?

Good luck to you! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 11:17am
I'm fortunante because my MM or XMM ( still hard to say) lives on propety that backs up against woods and the only way to get back out is actually pull into his drive way, BIG deterant!!!!!! and get this the name of his Lane is hippidippy lane, cracks me up every time I say it!!!!! Thank God he lives back there because I would be driving by just to see what I could see.
kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 11:40am

((HUGS))


Edited 2/8/2005 7:05 pm ET ET by littlesoul2
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 12:14pm
I'm dealing w/ the same. Although this week i'm starting to finally beat myself up about all the pining i'm doing for xSOM. Why didn't i have any self respect? why was i basically begging when i have a H who loves me so much or if it was just about sex i could go to a bar & pick up a guy easily. I don't know what it is about this guy. i just hope i can maintain NC. It's been about a month now & we live in the same city. Our houses & places of employment are pretty close so there is the possibility of running into him. (Which i'm always hoping for.) I know it's over. he tried to make that clear to me a couple of times. Anyway...just needed to vent. Thanks. I hope i can be strong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 2:07pm
Hi bbarj,
I hadn't seen you on here for awhile! How are you doing? Sounds like you are getting really strong. I think you might be easing on into that bitter/ pis*ed off stage. I like this one the best!!!! I also think about the same things, wondering "where the hell did my self respect go?" and "he should have been begging ME for those booty calls" What silly little women we were!! But not anymore! I often wonder if he is sitting there wondering where the hell i went. I'm sure he thought I would be running to him forever. And on some level I guess I thought the same thing. But life keeps happening and you grow and become smarter every day and thats what i'm doing now.
Instead of hoping you can run INTO him why not try hoping you will run OVER him? LOL
Stay strong chicky! I wish you the best.
I'm always loitering around here if you ever want to vent some more.
~nuttmeg