Grateful list...
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Grateful list...
| Thu, 05-27-2010 - 10:22pm |
I have a friend who I email with everyday who knows about the A.
| Thu, 05-27-2010 - 10:22pm |
I have a friend who I email with everyday who knows about the A.
I am also very grateful for most of these. Except I never had a #1 and went straight to NC and I still do #3 (facebook is open in another tab right now).
I will rewrite #3: Grateful I have a plan to slowly break the FB watching- starting with deleting alternative page (just for him) by Monday 12 noon.
Dear IMIP,
I am grateful for many of the same things you have listed.
Thank you for starting this thread:
I am grateful ...
1) To be alive.
2) To be living in a safe home.
3) I am grateful that my H is the man that he is & regardless of whether or not we reconcile, he will continue to be the father I always dreamed as a child my own children would have.
4) For my incredible parents who are still married after 38 years, who were not perfect, but who were ALWAYS there to cheer me on.
5) For my best friends who kept me alive during my A. I am grateful that they continue to let me talk as much as I need to about this ending, without judgment or letting their boredom show! They remind me time and again that all we really need in this life is the consistent care found within unwavering friendship.
6) For each of you here who ever posted - even if not to me. You are like breaths of fresh air filling my lungs. You are the most remarkable women I have had the honor of 'knowing'. I don't care what you have done in your past, you are each worthy of Love and admiration. You helped me to believe in myself again. Words are not enough ...
7) For my children - who continue to love me hard in spite of myself. They help me to be a better person ... and they don't know it ... but they saved my life.
8) For an EAS sister who emails me without fail - her humor, love & support are my staples.
9) I am grateful that I am Me. I am grateful that I can once again see all the incredible privileges I have ... from my mental health to my mobility.
10) For flowers in bloom reminding me that the seasons change and time indeed moves on.
11) For therapy. I am so so grateful that I found a therapist who is like the sister I never had ... who made me laugh when she said "You better be as pissed as I am that he contacted you".
12) For choices and opportunities most women in this world are risking their lives to try and obtain.
13) I am thankful that I now recognize that it has been my own fear (of the unknown, of change, of not changing) that has caused me to suffer.
14) To my xAP's wife - for having the courage to confront me & speak her mind. I didn't start out wanting to end this A for me, I wanted to do right by her after I had done so much to harm her. Her courage helped me to clear the fog & hold myself accountable for my actions. When I feel sorry for myself and my hurt, I recall that look on her face 'that day' ... I will probably never get the chance to say I am sorry to her --- but each day, each action I take to keep NC is my way of telling her I am sorry.
I am so thankful that I have so much to be thankful for that this list could go on without end ...
TU.
ps: welcome back (-:
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou