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|Tue, 01-29-2013 - 1:49pm|
I used to post this thread on Tuesdays - it came from when I was in counseling. My therapist wanted me to see that amid all the hurt, confusion, anger, unhappiness and chaos that there were good things so I could keep perspective and find hope to pull me through dark moments.
Two and a half years after my A and I came to this board today because I was feeling weak. Not that I wanted to go back or fish or anything like that. Just feeling emotionally low today and needing the reminder that closure is about ME. I needed to remember that it's okay to grieve, I needed to remember why I ended my M and my A. Gratefulness doesn't really cover how I feel about this forum. I recently was having a moment of feeling victim of my A - I'll never escape some of the public humiliation that crops up from time to time. And as I read and responded to some of the posts today I remembered that ending is an ongoing process.
No one is immune to wanting to feel loved, wanted, validated, acknowledged, special, beautiful and valuable. No one - it is in our basic human nature.
Today I am grateful for the chance to give myself closure (again) and get back to progressing. I am grateful for the reminder of my EAS family who support without judgement. Grateful for the chance to change to a transparent life with no secrets. It took me a few tries, and a lot of patience, and afew wake up calls from fellow boardies who didn't let me justify or excuse bad decisions. thank you for saving me.