The "grief" stage I'm in....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
The "grief" stage I'm in....
8
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 9:43am
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Edited 2/25/2010 10:42 am ET by jilly1983
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 10:19am

Jilly,


Why will you be seeing him this weekend? All you can do is not show your sadness and try to be as upbest as you can, even though it will be really hard. He, OTOH, will probably be acting like all is well and no big deal. You can out trump him even if you are only pretending. Hold your head up high and try to avoid all eye contact. Will you be with your H? Or a close friend? Stick by them like glue.


((Hugs))

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 10:39am
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Edited 2/25/2010 10:42 am ET by jilly1983
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 10:41am

<>


Don't plan...just do. ;-) Think only about why you are there and that is for the kids.


You can do this.

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 12:51pm

Greetings~


I have bounced back and forth between the stages, skipped stages and then went waaaay back to the beginning....I bounced between anger and sadness alot and then between anger and acceptance...it was really weird.


This, of course, was AFTER I spent way too long on having all those emotions on top of each other....I just about spontaneously combusted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 2:20pm

jilly,


free is spot on. Your emotions will see saw and you have to realize this will happen and be prepared to deal with it. In time, you will come to understand what works for you and what doesn't. You will have triggers and those days can be a struggle to get through. Just know that with your determination and hard work, this too shall end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 3:55pm
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Edited 2/25/2010 10:42 am ET by jilly1983
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 6:22pm

jilly, he never texted or called because he didn't have to. He knew you would contact him. And because he did not consider you a priority as much as you considered him. Classic cake eater behavior - I'm sorry to say.


Please be proud of yourself for getting out of this affair. Don't give him another minute of your brain time. He doesn't deserve it. But jilly, you do my dear. Make yourself your priority. Why worry about what he is or is not doing. Let him be his wife's problem, not yours, ya know!


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 01-30-2010 - 10:07am

Jilly~


I agree with everything Bandk wrote. Your priority now is to yourself and your family. It's no doubt you are smack dab in the middle of the anger phase, and as F_C wrote, it will wax and wane for a while. It strikes out of nowhere and becaue you have to see him again, you will probably have another

   ~Iddy~