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|Thu, 03-27-2003 - 10:22pm|
I'm doing OK. The usual browser I use doesn't care for this message board, so its a little harder to get to the page...
As for everything else, I'm not bad. OM and I did the big good bye emails the other day. Neither of us really wanting to finalize, but I did. He asked about meeting to talk things over and I said no. I'm trying to take the attitude, that until I'm 100% sure I'm leaving H that I have no right to continue on. Its only hurting me and countless others. But...I miss him like crazy. Today I felt like I had given up coffee or something - I just was craving the contact, but as I said I kept reminding myself - either I make myself available or there is nothing to talk about. (Ofcourse if I made myself available, there would be nothing to talk about unless he made himself available too. From what he's said, he would, but you never know till you see it happen.)
I know he'll start doing a lot more with his wife now - he always does when I'm not in the picture. Maybe I do too. Its gonna hurt to watch, but I have to keep it inside - he's not mine and that is his wife.
To be honest, I'm not feeling super strong at the moment. I don't really know how to get to that point - maybe just a little more time. I'll keep working on it.
PS I don't know how to retrieve your email. Maybe you can post it again. I'm at firstname.lastname@example.org