H wanting me to open up to him
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| Tue, 09-14-2004 - 9:06am |
He told me it would just take time, lots and lots of time. He said there were many times the first few months and even years that he doubted his choice in staying with me. He missed her very much, they had become very close. But, 9 years later he doesn't think of her often and he knows he has made the right choice. Out of all the things in his life its the one thing that he would take back if he could. He wrote me a long letter a few weeks ago about true love vs. affair love. It was quite good, I didn't appreciate it much then, but I'm starting to now.
The NC has been very hard on me. I've been trying to call old friends any time I think about picking up the phone to call MM. I read the posts from those who were involved in long term A and see it will still end, one day, one way or the other. I should end it now while I'm living in another state, does make the NC a tad bit easier...no more running into him at the tennis courts, no more walking by his house etc...There is a chance I might be moving back in a year, and it will be easier to do if I end things completely now. I have to admit, I still hold on to the hope that when I move back we'll pick back up. Okay, I'm rambling now...think I'll go for my jog. There was not much point in my posting, other than I just needed to vent I guess. Have a good day all! JB

"He said there were many times the first few months and even years that he doubted his choice in staying with me. He missed her very much, they had become very close. But, 9 years later he doesn't think of her often and he knows he has made the right choice. Out of all the things in his life its the one thing that he would take back if he could. He wrote me a long letter a few weeks ago about true love vs. affair love. It was quite good, I didn't appreciate it much then, but I'm starting to now."
I too, miss the OW (it has been 3 weeks since we were physically together) and I often think what life would be like with her. Regarding your husband's letter, would it be possible to share the letter on this board? The issue of true love vs. affair love is critical in getting over this feeling, and experienced insight would be most appreciated. If it is too personal, I understand. Thanks either way!
JMHO
Free
I don't mind sharing a bit of his letter. He just started by saying he knows I still have feelings for the MM but that doesn't change his feelings for me. He said that he agrees that at one point in his relationship with his OW that he thought they were soulmates but not anymore. He said he felt that was not uncommon to feel in the fantasy world of an affair.
" I know better now what Love and soulmates and life are all about and I will tell you why I think that you are my soulmate and I am yours. I don't think that soulmates or life-long love are predetermined or chosen instantly, I think it is something that happens based on a lifetime of shared experiences.....both good experiences and bad link us togethers like glue."
He then just went on to mention special times in our lives, mostly revovling around our children and various homes we've lived in. He goes on to say:
"I could go on for hours, but it is the little things, all the shared experiences that make us soulmates. The inside jokes, the things that matter only to us."
I know that I am lucky that he is patient with me on the topic of my A. I did truly forgive him for his. Well, I hope you have a great day. Jill