had to be done, but so hard...
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had to be done, but so hard...
| Thu, 02-18-2010 - 4:28pm |
Hey ladies (and gents, if you're out there too...)
I just took a much needed, though incredibly painful step. I know it took me some time...but, I finally deleted the email account that I used pretty much for him/us, and took him off FB. He wasn't particularly active on FB, but the temptation to 'check' was just too much.
I know I needed to, I know it is a step forward...but it hurts so bad. I guess that's the 'finality' talking...oh, I hurt...it's almost as bad as the 'ending day' when the rug was ripped out from underneath me...I don't have much to say other than I'm hurt, and I'm sad, and I'm confused...and I sure could use some hugs!
Thank you
((hugs))

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WC,
Sorry I missed the lineup of hugs last night, so here's
~Iddy~
Thank you Misty and Iddy!
Today started off a bit rough, I know it's the finality of it settling in. My brain/rational 'self', I'm sure, knows that it's over-over, but my heart and emotions are not there yet. I know that will take time, and 'hope' is the last thing to go. I feel as sad as I did, as torn up as I was at the 'official ending' almost a month ago...but, I at the very least don't feel that sense of hopelessness, that there is 'nothing before me'. I also feel that I do have a say, and I do have choices. I'm still a bit scatter-brained and I don't quite know where and how to direct my energy, but I am - a bit at a time. None of us are 100% right out of the gate ;)
Iddy - I did feel quite special/warm-fuzzies that TTS honed in on this and commented! I recognize her from the 'wisdom and insights' thread.
Thank you again everyone ((hugs))
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
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