hanging in....5 days and NC with A

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
hanging in....5 days and NC with A
3
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 1:12am

Thanks to everyone who have given me so much encouragement through this time. Its been 5 days now and I have not contacted or accepted any contact from him. I have found that keeping very busy helps. I still miss him so much. During these past 5 days, I have come so close to texting him....but I have'nt. I have also realized that not being with him has made me have to deal with reality. So, I have been writing a list of what is missing from my life and marriage....and its surprising. Everything that is missing is what my A was to me. What he made me feel. He made me feel like a woman, and I felt wanted and desired by him. But during the last couple of months with him, I started feeling very depressed. I became obessed with him. And now I am noticing how much of my mentality it took having my A...it took alot. And it took alot from my family.



Serval times a day, I want to contact him, but I look at a picture of my family to remind me of what I have to loose. I do have very deep feelings for my A, but I have deeper feelings for my family.



If I hadn't found this site when I did, I would have never been able to end it and stick to it. When you are in this kind of relationship, you feel so alone...it helps so much knowing I am not.



thank you all

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 4:38am

Hi SL34



I didnt say Hi on your other thread,

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 9:50am

secretlife, I could have written your post myself, word by word.



All I can say is, hang in there.

Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 10:30am

SL,



<but I look at a picture of my family to remind me of what I have to loose.>>



Excellent substitution in behavior. We have to void out our old A habits and replace them with positive reinforcement. Kudos to you for figuring this one out on your own.



<>



I ended my 4.5 year A without this board, but came here shortly afterward seeking strength and answers. You probably would have ended it eventually, as all affairs bite the dust sooner or later, but I am so happy for you that you did find us. Having support in numbers gives us the strength and determination to start being honest with ourselves. It's much easier to hold ourselves accountable

   ~Iddy~