Hanging by a thread.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Hanging by a thread.
2
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 2:55pm

Hello All,

Like my title suggests - I am hanging by a thread.

Today is day 13 and it feel like the walls are closing in on me. I feel like today is my first real Low since ending this A. I have been trying to identify what is making today so tough, but I've come up with little. I suppose it could be some new news to share that I know he would appreciate and celebrate with me, and some struggles with academic life that I know he could relate to. Others in my RL doen't quite get the pressures of being a doctoral student. I feel the urge to reach out, to hear his voice and share for the sake of connecting. Please know that I get why that can't happen - the emotional low on the other side would NEVER be worth the temporary relief. I guess I'm just turning here - to say, gosh this hurts today. I miss him today. I miss talking with him. I 'know' all reasons why I ought not to, but none-the-less, I do.

To take care of myself I am heading out for a run with a close friend and then out to dinner. I'll be okay and I know that this wave will pass.

Forward - a direction, not a time line.

TU.




Edited 4/27/2010 3:32 pm ET by transcendingus
LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:29pm

TU -


Even though you're having a rough day, I'm in awe that you recognize it's just a rough patch and that you made plans with a friend to take your mind off of it.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 5:03pm

You realized this

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.