Happy Easter, Happy Spring
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| Sat, 03-26-2005 - 6:58am |
Hello everyone. Spring is right around the corner and that's a real good thing!!!! I am an everyday lurker here, used to post too about my affair, but I don't anymore. I was involved with XMM for a 3+ years and YES he still trys to work his way into my heart and my life. His trying is easier to handle now, than before when I would just fall to pieces. He is a customer of where I work so there are times when he or his friends have to call for one thing or another.
Do I still care about him...Yes very much. However he is a very insecure man that is attached to me emotionally and if he had his way it would be physically too. I am a person that is easy to talk to, a shoulder to cry on and a loyal pal and confidant. He, like my best friends are attached to that trate about me. He has told me things about him and his life and his family that were very detailed and private. He trusts me and I would not ever break that trust. However on the other hand he is a man that has no ideas what real love could be like. A good trustng ,I'm there for you anytime, you can count on me, kinda love. In a way I feel sorry for him, but in another way I don't because he help create the life he has. He cheated on his wife,(before ever meeting me) and whatever else happen between them. (But that is by no means, any of my business).
He still to this day proclaims his love for me and states that he will "wait for me and will be there till the end". Needs me in his life, etc. I let that roll off my shoulder and try hard to get on with my life.
My husband and I are doing great. We are back to the way it was before my affair. Life as it was just me and him. Yes I told him about it. I felt I needed to . Truth and honesty are very important to me. (Worth more than anything money could ever buy).
I hope everyone that posts to this board or lurks everyday like I do, finds peace and happiness in your life and can move past your affair and the feelings that it brings. No matter how much you think you love the affair person or how much you think they love you, it's not real. Real love is just that REAL HONEST LOVE. Not lying, cheating, buying time for a quickie, and allowing your self to get to low point of regret and loss of self.
Spring is a time of renewal, and so what better time than now to allow it. Be good to yourself and the ones that you love. (your family and friends), cause they are the one that will be there for you in the end, not the affair partner!
I am thankful everyday for this board. It has made a great difference in my life and way of thinking. I can't thank everyone enough, because whether each of you realize it or not you have help me along in my journey of moving on. And I hope I can be there for you too.
Happy Easter, Happy Spring.
TCOM

((TCOM)))
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Same here. Good to see you and thanks for the uplift.
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The absolute truth, and nothing but....
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The same to you,
~True~
thanks for sharing your experience, its an inspiration to all of us in this board knowing that people are able to survive after an affair
i for one am vey thankful for the support from this board, 2 months ago i thought i would die and i will never be able to be happy, now its all change and im slowly moving away from that feeling
thanks !!!!
max
TCOM
HAPPY EASTER AND SPRING, You have come a long way baby
Free
Dear TCOM:
Your posts in the past have really helped me, i remember saving one where you said that your H and your family and friends were THERE FOR YOU not xMM because it wasn't real. My A lasted 8 months. It has been over since Oct 2003 but have had off and on C, NC for only 60 + days now. I lurk here about once a week now.
I am now deeply in love with someone else and we are getting married once it feels right for our kids.
When I think of the A, I just can't believe that I accepted SO LITTLE from xMM. The love I have now gives me ALL of himself and TRUE committment. It is so different. The bottom line is so simple. He didn't choose me. No matter what his words say. The end. I didn't get anything from him. He wasn't ever there for me. Especially when I suffered so much after our breakup. Never there. The end. That is what it was. Nothing.
B True I have also been so inspired by your past posts and you just wanting to do the right thing and be the person you really are.
I still have some lingering sadness and feelings like I don't deserve the happiness of this new love in my life. But I am trying to work through those feelings and forgive and love myself again. My kids are doing ok, but I have guilt from the D and hurting them, and my xH is still angry at me. It just takes time I guess.
Survive
Hope everyone had a nice day today, and has a good week ahead. Think positive happy thoughts and remember..........You are priority, you are in control and you are what matters most!!!!!!!! Be good to yourself!!!!
TCOM