Happy Friday/Pat on the back

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Happy Friday/Pat on the back
2
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 10:12am

Pat on the back for me...and for everyone else!

Today marks 2 weeks NC for me. I know, not that 'huge' in the grand scheme of things, but it's the longest I've ever gone before (we'd maybe go a week of LC in the past) and only ever got a day or two of total NC (that is, no 'passive' communication through FB or some such). I really think that it's total NC that has been helping me - I feel okay, no anger or deep sadness. Not about the A anyway, more about myself and things that I had let slide, things I let happen, etc. But, I still largely feel positive - that good things will happen. There was a time that I felt as though there was nothing to look forward to, so glad not to be there anymore. I remember at one point wanting to keep xAP on FB to 'know he was alive/alright'...but I'm glad I don't have him on FB anymore - no status updates that 'nod' to me, no songs posted that he knows we'll get to me. It's protecting myself. Besides, if anything did ever happen (and while I have my moments, I don't want anything bad to happen to him) - really, what difference does it make? It's not as though I could show up at the hospital or something. So in that sense, it's better not to know.
NC (or LC if you have to) really is the only way to go (I know, in the beginning we logically know this but it takes awhile to feel it and really get it). I still have my days and moments, lots of things to 'fix', but I haven't felt this positive in awhile. Even if it's just this moment, at least it's something to remember later if/when I'm feeling crummy again.
Anyway, I won't drone on any further - just wanted to send some hugs/congrats to folks on the NC road, no matter how far along they are.
((hugs))

----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

Walk n' Block. Total NC 08-13-10

----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 10:24am

<<>>

It is too huge! One day is huge when you are in the depths of digging out. NC/LC - it's really the only antidote for an A.

Big (((hugs))) to you and all EASers today for how far you've come.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 12:10pm

((wcfem))


I'm proud of you, girl. Two weeks is a great start on your path to freedom and more will fly by peacefully, as long as you keep your eyes on the road ahead. You may be tempted to

   ~Iddy~