Hi Alice - you hang in there, ok? I dislike Sundays too, but for different reasons. On Sunday my x played a good boy, was going to church and all that, so we didn't talk much, maybe a couple texts. But now Sunday means tomorrow is Monday...and I have to be at work and see him. I hope after I ignored his birthday he will start avoiding me though. Umm, so be it:)
Alice....I have to say I agree with you on the cheating thing. Once I crossed that line the first time, it was easy to just do it over and over and never think twice. I have come to realize it is some sort of addiction....and for whatever reason we want to validate our reasons for doing so, it is still wrong. I hate being that person, yet I have done it over and over. I sometimes think my biggest struggle in all of this isnt losing my XAP, but in losing the whole "high" of this addiction. I feel like I am incapable of having a real relationship with anyone.
It sucks, it hurts, and like most addictions, is going to take awhile to feel clean again. But atleast we are all one step closer to that day!
In reading your post I realized that I have pretty much cheated in any and all relationships that I have had. I even told my husband this before we married, that I have never been faithful to anyone. Not sure if I do this to keep them at a distance or if I'm doing it to hurt them before they hurt me. I don't want to be a cheater, I refuse to believe that this is just a part of who I am. Like you, I've been trying to figure out what causes me to act this way so that I can finally take care of it.
There is definitely a lot of self reflection in the time after ending your A. However, you should take it as a positive step that you are starting to focus more on yourself than xAP.
Hi Alice - you hang in there, ok? I dislike Sundays too, but for different reasons. On Sunday my x played a good boy, was going to church and all that, so we didn't talk much, maybe a couple texts. But now Sunday means tomorrow is Monday...and I have to be at work and see him. I hope after I ignored his birthday he will start avoiding me though.
Umm, so be it:)
XOXO
Gone
Alice....I have to say I agree with you on the cheating thing. Once I crossed that line the first time, it was easy to just do it over and over and never think twice. I have come to realize it is some sort of addiction....and for whatever reason we want to validate our reasons for doing so, it is still wrong. I hate being that person, yet I have done it over and over. I sometimes think my biggest struggle in all of this isnt losing my XAP, but in losing the whole "high" of this addiction. I feel like I am incapable of having a real relationship with anyone.
It sucks, it hurts, and like most addictions, is going to take awhile to feel clean again. But atleast we are all one step closer to that day!
Alice,
In reading your post I realized that I have pretty much cheated in any and all relationships that I have had. I even told my husband this before we married, that I have never been faithful to anyone. Not sure if I do this to keep them at a distance or if I'm doing it to hurt them before they hurt me. I don't want to be a cheater, I refuse to believe that this is just a part of who I am. Like you, I've been trying to figure out what causes me to act this way so that I can finally take care of it.
There is definitely a lot of self reflection in the time after ending your A. However, you should take it as a positive step that you are starting to focus more on yourself than xAP.