Has anyone else had a CDay (confession Day) that they regret??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2011
Has anyone else had a CDay (confession Day) that they regret??
15
Tue, 05-31-2011 - 4:38pm
my xap told me time and time again NOT to tell my DH, that i will regret it...well, here i am 30 days post CDay and yes, I do regret my telling him. That was a BAD night...a very BAD night....

The reasoning behind me telling him you ask?? Well, i was depressed that my xap wasn't paying attention to me anymore, no more daily texts, no more daily email/im's...no more seeing each other face to face...Things all changed after my DH got home from out of the country, and my MMxap and his W met him... Guess he finally grew a conscience? I wish I had. I still wanted him, but he didn't want me anymore, and it destroyed me.

I even told my DH that I wasn't in love with him anymore, that i never really found him attractive...but over looked that b/c he would be a great husband...(compared to all the jerks i normally dated prior meeting DH). I was in such a A Fog...and still, some days...I still want him...especially when my DH is away, which he is now...for the next few weeks..

Now, I have his pain in my life along with my own...because i told him. I REALLY wish I never did. I REALLY wish I was strong enough to hold it in, to keep my DH from the pain also..

Frustrated....once again....MAU

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2011

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
MAU, my only regret is that I didn't tell my husband myself and that he had to find out about the A through reading a god-awful text from my xAP (at a time when my H was in hospital acutely unwell with suspected complications of an STD!!)

You did the wrong thing by having the A - we all did - but you did no wrong by being honest with your H. I know it hurts and it's an awful feeling to be responsible for his pain as well as your own, but you will both get through this with openness and honesty.

Hugs to you

Kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2011
You are just sooo, soooo right! I do "know where i don't want to go again"! ABSOLUTELY, NO WAY will I inflict this pain on myself or my marriage again. Thank you for telling me im brave...that's good to hear, even though it's tuff to hear compliments b/c i don't think i deserve them right now...

And Kat, im just so sorry to hear how your husband found out...that is just so wrong..
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011

Thanks MAU. It was the worst day of

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
MAU - just ignore bestplayer who isn't a member of EAS and is just looking for a reaction
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010

Hi, MAU. Please understand my response comes from a place of love because I have been where you are-missing my xAP and wishing I could feel for my DH what I felt for my xAP at the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2011

my heart aches for my husband more than my own...but i do have both aches do deal with. I know what pain i have caused him and I regret telling DH when I was so emotionally confused and upset, and also regret taking advantage of DH being away...but, it's done...my xap saw i was very vulnerable, 'available' and free...and I let xap take advantage of that situation.. Absolute WORST mistake of my life. I am VERY thankful for my DH, that he is open to counseling and open to living a long life with me...DH says "guess we are all allowed ONE BIG mistake, and this one is yours".. im working on it, and working on DH to love me like he used to, and to trust me like he used to...probably will never happen, but one never knows these things....

rtg, thanks for your post..and im glad your heart aches for my husband, b/c no one should have to go through a heartache like this...

also, i do keep on reminding myself and telling my DH that i dont want to think about me and my pain....only DH's..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2011
hey kat, I don't even see the post?? must have been deleted?

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