Has anyone ever read why women ....
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Has anyone ever read why women ....
| Tue, 10-19-2004 - 7:53pm |
like us do this?? And hold on so long. I read so many post that are 2 years or more and think Oh my god mine is such heart ache at 6 months...I can't imagine living like this for 5 years. Even though at good times it's been discussed that I could live the OW forever if I had too...that was until he just quit calling out of the blue!!
But really why do we do this to ourselves?? And why do women let men continue to control them??

I think the time it takes to move on with our lives depends on each of us individually. Some of us are able to figure out much sooner why we did what we did, as well as what was missing in our lives at the point the A started. We each enter into our As for slightly different reasons. Other differences in the time it takes to move on include: length of A, condition of the M, emotional state, etc. Some people refuse to accept the end of the A -- you really can't move forward until you TRULY accept the ending for what it is. So until the woman (or man for that matter):
1. Understands what the empty part of her life was and addresses it;
2. Says goodbye to the A and knows deep within herself that it's over;
3. Comes to terms with what she wans her future to be (do we want to brood forever or do we want to rebuild a happy and productive life);
4. REALLY gets to know herself and she needs to do to fill her life with things and people that will create true happiness...
THEN she can move forward. I belive that for some this can take months, for others it's years. It depends on whether we want to work hard on recovery, or if we instead choose (sometimes subconsciously) to feel sorry for ourselves and wonder about the emotions of a person with whom we should have no concern. It's our choice about how hard we want to work toward receovery and when we want to start working on it.
Before you all think I am being to simplistic about this, I will tell you that I also think some people have other issues that first may have to be addressed, so the recovery process may be a bit more out of their control. If other factors, like alcohol, drugs, other unaddressed emotional issues, etc. are involved, those problems need to be faced first.
Kind of heavy stuff, and just my opinion. Hope it helps a little :-)
Meg
I think you are right on the money and it was very well put!!