Has anyone experienced this

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2009
Has anyone experienced this
5
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 4:26pm

I ended things with XAP 16 months ago, all has been going

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2009
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 4:43pm
I experience this but I'm disappointed that you still have these feelings after not talking to him in 12 months. I know it takes time. You've done great so far. I would have hoped the feelings would fade by now. I suppose more time will tell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 4:48pm

Kerilyn...


Its hard to say because we all have our own time tables....


The part of your post however that confuses me is why is there still contact?


NC means NC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 4:51pm
You are still sending birthday greetings and receiving thank you notes. These are terms of endearment and keeps you stuck in your fantasy. I have a friend who has been in an A on and off for 25 years (NO KIDDING)! She told me that this man is so special that she can't get him out of her heart. I told her that she needs to research co-dependency and talk to a T about why she has to hold on to someone who is M to someone else for so long. I know because T helped me to stop the madness of needing validation outside of myself. This is not healthy for you. Does his W know that he is receiving birthday greetings from his ex-mistress? If not, you are still hiding and sneaking and deceiving your spouses. Stop the cards and figure out how to stop the madness for good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 4:59pm

Honey, you haven't let go yet, and you are making it harder on yourself by responding to his occasional greetings. If these are sent by email, it's time to block him. By cell phone? Get a new # or have it blocked. Most providers give you the option to do this. You won't be able to move fwd 100% until you do this.


Also, how long was your A? Mine was over

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 7:20pm

I echo what others have said. If he's still able to contact you and get a response, then you haven't let go completely and that is why you are having these residual feelings. Block him... then there won't be the "oh he might contact me" feelings in the back of your mind. Once you shut that door, I bet you start feeling better immediately.

Hugs,

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/