Hate to be a pest but need your votes??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Hate to be a pest but need your votes??
6
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 4:19pm
Ok, something just occured to me...I am in control..YES I AM!! See we have our own phones, I of course being seperated waiting for the divorce to finalize have my own phone my x never saw my bill even when he demanded to see it I was strong and said no!! Totally kept the A underwraps from him. However, the ding dong MM just spills the beans, and left several hints along the way...which makes me wonder was he doing that to just get his wife to love him more. If that's the case and they are all just using us that is just plain sick, sick, sick.

So let's go back to me being in control. The phone he is using or let's say not using to call me and blow me off is under my plan. Let's say he finally decides he needs me...(at least for that moment) and goes and starts up the phone dials my # and the phone says "sorry no service". hmmmm....is it wrong of me to just say well enough is enough you be the sucker now...wonder how I had enough strength to turn off your phone. My plan is if he doesn't call at all tomorrow after rearranging my plans the phone goes off on Thursday. Sure it will cost me $165.00 but worth it to finally be the OW who comes out on top. How empowering it would be to have the strength to get rid of 2 rotten men in my life when they never saw it coming. But then there's the loving part that just doesn't know if I can be that cruel...the difference i had no love for my x-husband...this man I fell for long and hard!! I know shutting off his phone would hurt him and he would never forgive me but then again why drag on him hurting me. He obviously thinks he can blow me off day after day after day and I'll stay around. Would just love to hear his excuse but I know I would fall for it and go back.

So your vote?? Be in control and shut the phone off or have a final goodbye if he calls??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 4:52pm
Shut that baby down! Trust me, you will feel so much better when you have made the break and are back in control of your life. So what if he gets mad? He isn't being considerate of your feelings. It's hard to make that break, but you can do it - you owe it to yourself. My A ended last week, he ended it, but funny thing, he has text messaged me twice and I'm not responding. Feels much better to be in control than controlled. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 5:34pm
Hi Shay48,

I haven't seen you post here before but looks like you have a handle on things. I have just one thing to say to you and that is, "YOU ROCK!" Good for you not responding to his emails. NOW, take the next step and block him from sending them, or better yet, get a new email address. You are the one in control of your destiny, and sweetie, "He's NOT it :)"

Stay strong,

~True~

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 7:23pm
Start

Shut the phone off.

I have read your posts and I have to tell you this MM sounds like just as big an abuser as your husband, he found a woman in a bad situation and has taken enotional advantage of it and then used you to screw with his wifes head, CAN YOU SAY NO GOOD LOSER, DUMP HIM, you called it right when you called him SICK.

Jmho

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 7:31pm
I am afraid you may be right!! Very right!! He said he would never hurt me, he said above all we at least had our phone and still be friends, he promised he would help me through this divorce at least as a friend. And tomorrow is the day my attorney goes to court to fight my x trying to get 50/50 custody. Tonight my x said tomorrow is my day god I hope he doesn't get shared custody. And you know where my so called MM friend is?? God only knows cuz he quit caring obviously. Everyone keeps saying I Deserve better, and I need to end this but someone please tell me why I am still trying to reach him. His phone is still turned off. Tomorrow is the turning point. We talked about meeting tomorrow if he doesn't call then the phone gets shut off this weekend. I think his wife even deserves better. 2 affairs he has had and sure not to be his last. Even though he says to me he would never get himself into a mess like this again!!

But I do agree, I was an easy target for him and his ego and now a little too much trouble now that he has his wife cooking for him every night again, and loving him 100 percent!! Boy, I don't even get a thank you from him...how nice!!

thanks for your help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 7:41pm
Turn off the phone!

Who needs all this heartache. Today I finally closed the email account I shared with my XMM, that no one else knew about. I feel very empowered and so will you. It feels wonderful to be back in control. Do everything you can to keep that feeling alive. I also divorced my husband last year and ended my A in June. It was very, very hard to keep NC and today I feel like I have finally reached a turning point. My A went on for 5 1/2 years and when his W found out he denied how long and intense it really was. I was heartbroken, but now I see that it's his loss. I still have an eerie feeling that one of these days he'll be back, but I intend to remain strong and free.

Take care of yourself first and good luck.

maria
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 9:19pm
SHUT THAT PHONE OFF, GIRL!!!