Have to email him for work-need a boost!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Have to email him for work-need a boost!
6
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:00pm
Hey everybody,

I've been lurking a little, but had to cut back on my "board time" during work. I think it was getting noticed! :) Hope you are all doing well.

I've been doing well, had absolute N.C. for a week and a half, and have been through with him for more than a month now. The N.C. has been GREAT! I feel like I am myself again and things with H are really good. FINALLY, I can be totally honest when I say that I do NOT want him to contact me AT ALL, I don't want to see him, I want nothing to do with him. I'm fine with that. We do work together, so I will be civil and polite, but I am done with wanting to be friends. I don't need a friend like that.

So here's the thing...my boss asked me to do something and email it to xOM. I have to, and I know I can and will be strictly professional. BUT...I am not so foolish as to believe that I am bulletproof. My hands are sweating just thinking about having to email him, and I am very afraid that he will try strike up a conversation. I am now a firm believer that TOTAL NC works, and I am afraid to break that. But I know I have to. I just hate feeling like I am exposing myself to any contact from him.

Any advice?

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:09pm
Lily

I am sure you can handle this with out to much problem, just remember that it takes two to have a conversation, don't respond to any attempts to talk, there is nothing or no one that can force you to have any sort of a relationship you don't want.

If this e-mail does not require some sort of response from him can you indicate so on the bottom of it in a nice civil but ice cold way.

You can do this.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:14pm
Thanks Free...good call.

You are like Wonder Woman! You always swoop in to save me!!
Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:31pm
What Free said...heh...

Just keep it strictly professional. No "I hope you're doing well" or anything at the end like you might do for a close associate. Short, to the point, and cold. And don't respond to any attempts by him to make chit-chat.

Okay that didn't add much but just wanted to know I was thinking of you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:41pm
Hey Lily,

I have been thinking of you! Have not seen you here lately and was actually gonna send you a note to see how you were doing. It sounds like you are doing great!!!

So I think you should email him and tell him you really miss him and that you should meet up for one last romp in the hay!

Gotcha! ;)(lol)

Sorry. I am in a silly mood again today.

It really is simple. Be professional. No personal junk. If he does. You dont. See? Simple!!! No sweat girl. You are a pro now!

xoxoxo!

Dipss

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 6:56pm
Thanks Dipss!!!

YOU ARE AWESOME! Well, I sent it...was very professional. Basically said "This should be what you need. Thanks!" Anyway...never heard back. Which WAS what I wanted, right? Although part of me thinks a "thank you" would have been polite and professional. I would expect that from anyone I work with. Oh well. Onward!!!

Thanks, Dallas, too!!! :)

You ladies are the best.

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 11:02pm
hi there Lilyann--

Sounds like you have gotten great support today--I am late getting on the board today, so I didn't get a chance to respond in a timely manner. Sorry about that :-)

The only reason I am posting at all is to sympathize with your "cutting back on the board" comment. I love coming here and reading the posts (I read almost all of them in at least the general discussion), and your posts are helping me so much, but it's taking up a lot of time! I don't have access at work (this portion of this site is blocked due to content), and the time I am spending here while I am at home is interfering with the time I give my family. How ironic is that???

So I am going to try to cut back and visit when I have a chunk of time available when I won't be shorting my kids or my H. I will be around, becaue I need you guys!

As a follow up to my posts late last week, I am doing a GREAT deal better. I was thick into PMS that day, and I was feeling pretty down. But I seemed to have gotten through it--I appreciate the shots to my head with the 2x4s!! Even someone who always has something to say has bad days, and that was one of mine.

thanks, guys!

Meg