Have a question for y'all

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Have a question for y'all
7
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 6:15pm
Just out of curiosity.How many of your MM actually promised, swore up and down that he would leave, and then how long did all of that continue before you said enough is enough, I cant wait forever?I guess I just try to convince myself constantly that what I hear is the truth, but then years go by and here I sit still.Just wondering.Thanks

Emma

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 6:24pm
Hi Emma,

See my response #11 to When Did You Know It Was Time To Leave? Short answer, 6 yrs the first time and 15 mos the second.


Edited 3/25/2004 7:27 pm ET ET by lily022
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 7:04pm
HI Emma

If you check on the web for affair stats your going to learn that almost NO MM leave there wifes for the other woman, most of them are cakeman, they like to have there cake and eat it to.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 10:10am
Emma,

All I know that is if you plan on telling him that you've had enough and your bailing be sure to follow through, cause the first time you don't they'll continue doing it to you over and over again. You have to be willing to risk losing him altogether if you put him in a situation where he must choose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 10:24am
My OMM promised he would leave and he did! I played the flipside of the coin - I backed out and stayed in my M. How long did I promise to leave? From the time he first mentioned it. Why didn't I? Well, if it helps any to know this, I always believed in my heart that I was going to end my M and move on with OMM. I believed it right up until the day I woke up and somehow or other knew in my heart that I didn't want to end my M. I told OMM very shortly thereafter because I felt dishonest and spiritually corrupt having him believing my promises any longer. Don't get me wrong, I really did intend to keep those promises someday. The someday just never came. I told him before I did any further damage. Wow, I feel so guilty.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 1:09pm
My XMM told me, emphatically, he would never leave his wife. There never was any question in that. In fact, he loves her very much--and was very torn about why in the world he would need me to begin with.

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 3:12pm
Emma, I think these ladies are all right. The MM may SAY he is leaving ... but actually going thru with it is a whole different story.

So many women on here have been burned by guys giving them that line and stringing them along.

I'm not saying that for sure your MM won't leave, but you can't wait around forever either.

If I was you, I would set a realistic goal date for the event to happen or for him to take some real action towards it.

And if you don't see it happening, sorry to say, but at that point you're going to have to decide whether you want to remain on the hook with him or move on with your life, and find someone who is totally able to devote himself to you. Good luck honey

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 7:21pm
Thank you ladies for your input.It will ultimately come down to me being finally ready to say enough is enough.I read a story posted here awhile back about the dog that wouldnt get up from the rusty nail because it didnt hurt bad enough yet(sorry for anyone who has NO idea what Im talking about,LOL).I have so much invested in this relationship, its so hard to just give up and walk away.He looks me right in the eye with the tears rolling and says he wants to be with me, but his actions say differently.I know deep down he's scared, I left my marriage, I know what its like.I really dont post often, but I do lurk often.Thanks again for your advice!

Emma