Have to see XMM w/ W
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| Mon, 09-20-2004 - 1:11pm |
How on earth do I get through this??
I am trying to keep a one-night, emotionally charged encounter with First Love from turning into a full-scale A and these little sojourns of theirs aren't exactly helping. Their last visit nearly sent me over the edge. Saw them briefly at a traffic light and started shaking so badly I nearly popped the clutch. My heart, let alone my transmission, can bear another encounter. To make matters worse - much worse - they are intending to move back to the area sometime in the near future. Shear agoney. If he wants to work on his marriage, that's fine. Even admirable. However, must they undertake this little reconciliation where I live for Godsake? Sorry, but I am furious! I realize this is his hometown and he misses family and friends, but who is he kidding? And to make matters worse, he and I share the same group of close friends, so avoiding them forever is impossible. I don't see how this will help either them as a couple or me. Want to scream at him to stay away, but realize I don't have the right.

I wish I had some sound advice for you! I don't know where you are or what stage you are in with xMM though! Can you put on a "show" and just pretend you are doing fine? I would look at it like I do when I am out for a long run - counting the minutes until I can be FINISHED with the sweating and exercise and know I'll be better off when it is over. Do you have any friends that you can talk to who can help? Be around with you when it is tough?
Why do they do this to us? Why do we let them? I wish you strength and patience to get past the weekend. Maybe by the time they move back you will be in a better place and it will be easier to handle. I am actually angry and frustrated with my xOM for putting me through this - just one more reason I'm glad we are stopping - he is totally clueless when it comes to my feelings.
Good luck!
Check here often. Not every story will match yours but in every post and response you will take some strength away with you.
-Lazy
I read your post a day or two ago and REALLY sympathized. It's just gut wrenching to have to see that! And to have him throw it in your face like that! I'd have wanted to punch him. Okay, well maybe not punch him. But I hope you're at least in the position to return "favor" sometime soon. See how he likes it.
The way things stand with my XMM, we both continue to have strong feelings for each other, but I don't want to be involved in an A for a myriad of reasons, most of which are beautifully summed up in the horror stories I've read on this board (thanks to EVERYONE for sharing.)