having a bad day .......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
having a bad day .......
3
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 5:02pm
Its been a mth almost since he responded to my last email.......Im finding it very hard today for some reason . I just miss him alot today . Hes in everythought today . I was doing good. I have this horrible urge to e mail him. I wont tho. I just want to know how he is . I know his life is stressful and IDK for the life of me why i even care but I want to know hes ok .Even tho Im sure he couldnt careless how I am doing. It like somethings missing .
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 6:16pm

yeah, I know it's so hard when you're craving validation that you matter and you're missed and you know that you can't and won't get that. It really hurts. And it's frustrating to be so new to ending the addiction that you have not learned all the ways to defend yourself from that pain and questioning. It will take time, self love and lots of persistence to rewire your brain (and heart) -- there is no getting around it; it just takes time and work. Try patting yourself on the back for the strength you've shown thus far. And be proud that you're doing the right thing. Be patient and tender with yourself, but keep up your boxing gloves and defend yourself from hurts -- that means avoid triggers and DEF keep NC.

I'm cheering for you big time.
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 11:22pm

Hi TSTH,


Know that what you are feeling is normal. Good for you for coming here typing it all out and maintaining NC even on a day you are sad and struggling.


Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 10:07am

Thank you for the responses .. It does help to know there are people out there that know the exact pain im in. I hope one day I can be done with it . 5 years is a long time and a hard habit it is so like a drug .