Having a bad day...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Having a bad day...
2
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 4:18pm

I hate this! I feel like I'm getting there, but just not quite there yet. My H has been away since Monday. I am so lonely. Not lonely for xOM, but I have this time on my hands that I've been wasting by obsessing over him. I feel like I need my H here now. I have gotten a lot of inspiration and strength from the posts on this board to officially end my A and concentrate on my marriage. I'm angry that my H is not here while I am feeling more committed and ready. This is when I start to go backwards. I get angry at my H. When I got married, I didn't sign up for a traveling H. This is new and too frequent. A lot of BS trips that he calls business. Didn't you know golf is business! Schmoozing is a lot of work ya know! RIIIIIIGHT! Months ago I would have wanted him to be away and stay away! I know I still have a lot of issues to work out with my H. I don't want to waste my energy obsessing over xOM. Somedays I feel so angry at him which helps, but sometimes I feel like I'm going backwards by thinking about it so much. I think the reason is because he hasn't called yet and I'm just waiting. Not to talk, but to throw his a** into VM. That will be my absolute closure! How do I stop this? Any suggestions?

Sorry just venting, but any words of encouragement would be helpful. Your stories (good and bad)and postings have been giving me the extra push I need to get through this.

Despr8

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 8:44pm

Despr8

Have you talk to your HUSBAND about how hurt and angry you are about all the travel, I mena have you talked to him the way you did in your post ??

It is not that uncommon when your mad at DH to find it easy to backslide toward the affair or just to obsess about it, as long as you know what your doing then you can control how long and how far it gets to go.

Do you have anything worth while to do to fill the lonely hours say School Charity work ETC... things that will build your self esteem but not put you in compromising postions that could lead to trouble ??

HANG IN THERE YOU CAN BEAT THIS

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2004
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 11:35am

I really understand how you're feeling. My travelling H was also one of the reasons that pushed me into an A and I also feel mad at him for being away so much. Now sometimes when he is at home I wish him to go away again so I can be alone, but when I'm alone I feel miserable and think about MM again. And then I want H to be home. It's stupid, I know. Problem is I'm still stuck with MM whereas you have made the right choice.

Keep busy, rent good movies, spend time with friends, exercise. Hang in there!