Having a bad day..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Having a bad day..
9
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 12:05pm

Not as far as I how I feel but as far as wanting to break the NC. I really feel like I want to email him or call. Not to get him back but just to touch base. It is 10 days NC, longer than I ever thought I'd go. I just want to talk to him.

Needign strength!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 12:29pm

Bria-

It's going to be ok. Keep telling yourself that. I wanted to send an email so bad yesterday. I ended up going to sleep instead. Woke up feeling refreshed. Came to work. Felt really good. Checked my email...and guess what...he emailed me. It was supposed to be day 6 NC. I feel empowered now more than ever.

If he ended it, let it be. Whatever he has to say is more than likely not what you want to hear. Whatever he doesn't say will have your mind wondering his thoughts, how he feels, what you should have/could have said....etc. Don't do it.

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 12:34pm
Oh, please hear me. I went three weeks with no contact. I got such an emotional email from him last week and ended up calling him over the weekend. A blizzard was starting to take strength and my husband was at work and I drove to him to get snowed in there. It was wonderful to see him, but coming home is the most horrible depressing feeling. Take it from me, no matter how sad you feel now, you will feel much worse by contacting him. I wish I didn't and I am miserable. Hope you find the strength ((HUGS))
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 12:57pm

<<>>


Why? What would change if you did? What if he is rude and unkind to you? I suggest you go back and read the link that you posted yesterday about letting go. Just so you are aware, having to start all over again with NC is NOT easier the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time. The chains get heavier, and the price for shedding them gets higher.

Sunny
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 3:34pm

thank you everyone. I am not sure why i do? Sunshine, i guess you understand. I guess I miss HIM. I dont miss the other crap. And knowing what I know wbout MM he would be very pleasant. I am concerned for how I will feel afterwrads.

I posted that link but havent had much luck feelign that way. I am thankful to feel better but I just wish I'd move past it. I wont email him today. I just hate wantign to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 3:40pm

Bria-

I know. It's so difficult. Just curious...are you married or single? I know a little about your story but not the whole thing. (((Hugs)))

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 4:52pm

Married.. H can be emotionally absent, a bit of a control freak and verbally abusive at times. I do love him though. He will only let me get so close to him though. I dont want to break up my family. MM provided me with attention and support durign a very bad time in my M and it happened to be while i was pregnant. He just became that for me. So that is what I miss the most. During the last 6-8 months I let him become more than that to me and that is where this really got screwed up.

I know that each day of NC is better for things but I really want to just say hi. But I am holdign strong.

How about you, M or S?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 8:30pm

Bria-

I am married. My DH is on assignment and will be back the end of February. That is one of the reasons the A has to be over. MM doesn't leave until March, and we work together. I don't think I could sneak around while H is here. He is very attentive and knows my schedule far too well.

I came to work this morning and had an email from MM. Right now, he is visiting his family in another state and will be back this weekend. I don't think he thought I was serious and was checking his email from there and once he realized I hadn't sent an email (like I normally would after I call it off). He got concerned. All it said was he can't get me off his mind. It made me feel good to know that; however, I can't let it go on. I know he cared, but it means nothing and will never become more than it was.

Be strong. My mother knows of the A...b/c we are so close. She loves DH and is so very sad I made this mistake. But through her experience, she said it may take a year to get over this. And...the hardest day may come when he leaves for good, when the good-bye becomes permanent. No seeing him at work...around town...He's just gone.

Be strong. I'm here if you just need to talk....vent...whatever.

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 7:24am

<<>>


Some women never get over it. The healing comes with the *acceptance* that it has to be over. Only then can you move on.


Sunny

Sunny
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 9:11am

capnit,

you know my story. you know for me it has been VERY hard to keep NC. it has been 7 days since i last sent him an email asking him to stay friends through email and he said no. we are in the same circle of friends and that is the only way he wants contact with me.

that has been very hard to accept. but i read the article you wrote about and it helped me. i realized that by contacting him, besides making a fool of me, i open up my wound again.

although i carry the pain with me, i am trying to but him behind me everytime a thought of him comes into my mind.

i am trying also to be strong. believe me i know it is hard. but we have to stay strong. they made a decision and we have to accept that. the article said that wanting someone you cant have is the hardest thing to accept and it IS. but day by day we have to just try to be a little stronger.

post here instead and vent...we are here to listen

i am also married and H is wonderful. but i cant find the happiness i had with OM with him. it sometimes feels like if we just live together for the sake of the kids. we get a long great as friends but i dont feel the attraction and love i felt with OM. this too has made it very hard to move forward since i dont have anyone that i feel love with.
hows your marriage coming along?

thanks

upsidedown