Having a Set Back Today ~ Feeling Down
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Having a Set Back Today ~ Feeling Down
| Thu, 05-20-2010 - 10:39am |
I've been doing really, really good; I've maintained NC, I've been feeling great, up-beat and happy, I've felt like I'm really beating this thing and letting go and today I am not feeling so strong.
The ugly weather does not help.

Hang in there LIG..The weather does not help, I know I have had several of these kind of days myself this week.
Life,
Let's hang in there together.
:) thank you so very much; it sure does help to know we're not alone while going through all of this.
I just hate to be so strong and feel so empowered and as if I can beat this and the next day feel so gloomy and missing XAP.
You are right though; WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!! I believe that 100%, so lets think positive and think of things that are important to us and remember we all have each other to get through this.
Just do NOT contact XAP, THAT is KEY!!!!!!!
NC = NO NEW HURTS
I'm sorry you are having a
~Iddy~
LIGA,
<>
It's OK to feel this way, and it's normal.
I still have tough ones too. Almost 6 months NC and he still floats in my mind from time to time...he does not consume me, nor do I obsess, but he comes around and then I check myself and say, literally say, you are so much better off w/o this person in your life and then I move on. NC contact does not mean you are over it, even if it is extended NC, it just means we have weaned ourselves off the highs and feel goods. Indifference only comes in time. its ok to have a tough one, or a couple of tough ones at this stage, to be expected. Just have to hang in there...
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Thank you all so very much for being here to cheer me on and to encourage me and to help me from doing something really stupid (which I am not even tempted to contact, just saying) it helps to hear all your words of encouragement incase that temptation does arise.
I think I mostly feel so blah today becuase I know he is out of the office for something "fun"; don't know where and I don't know what
Hi LIGA-
Here's a big hug for you. I have been feeling down for the past 24 hours or so. I too thought I was past this. I've been feeling really good for a couple weeks now, and at 112 days NC I feel like I should be done with this... but I keep reminding myself that this is a journey and I have to be patient. I am healing and one day I will reach indifference. Until then, we wade through the bad days and rejoice in the good. I am here with you, girl. We are on this journey together. When are you too tired to go on, we will carry you. That's what we do here. Keep your chin up. It will pass and you know that it will.
Much love,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
LIGA,
<>
Imagine having to sit across the room from him 5 days a week. Talk about it being much easier when he was out and about, I couldn't wait until he had a meeting or was going to lunch with someone. Sure, in the beginning it was very unsettling not knowing who he was seeing or meeting up with, but I got used to his being gone real quickly. I would be ecstatic when he announced first thing in the AM that he was going golfing with a customer. I knew then I had the whole office to myself and I could feel such a weight lifting off of my shoulders. I have to be honest and admit that the first 6 months were really hard, wondering if he had already met someone else he was sneaking off to see, but coming to this board and reading every day built up my resolve and before I knew it, I wanted him gone just so I could read and post on EAS. ;-)
For those of us in LC, the road is a very difficult one to maneuver. You never know how you are going to be treated, or how you are going to react to something they say or do. I had to train my eyes not to look at him, rearrange my desk so my back was to him, and never be without my emotional armor for self protection. It was absolutely exhausting, and I would drive home some days so stressed out that I couldn't even find the strength to cook dinner. It was a very tough going for quite a while, but as time passes, so do the triggers, the memories, and the emotions that were once attached to the AP and the A.
Tomorrow will be 6 years since I made the decision that XMM would never physically touch me again, but it took quite a while after that before my emotions completely disengaged. As others have said, the emotional part of an A is the hardest part to let go of.
((Hugs))
~Iddy~
Today is a better day as far as my emotions go but you know what, you said it just right, I couldn't put my finger on it which might sound kind of silly but you said exactly what is bothering me deep inside;
"I have to be honest and admit that the first 6 months were really hard, wondering if he had already met someone else he was sneaking off to see",
That is exactly what is cutting me so deeply, kind of funny how this whole process works; I see there are several steps to healing and getting past this, the first part (for me anyway) was to overcome not being tempted to contact him again, to not give in and realize once and for all he is no good for me and he is not what is important in my life, I've finally realized that and well now, it is wondering and thinking if he has met someone else and is meeting up with someone new.
Cut's like a knife. But I will get through this "phase" of the whole healing process just like I got through the first "phase" of it.
Thank you all. HUGS.