Having a Tough Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Having a Tough Day
9
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 4:45pm
I've been trying really hard to not allow xMM back in. He keeps emailing my work account (the one I can't block or stop using). I know I don't want to fall back into the mess that he is, but I feel like he's wearing me down. He knows exactly the right things to say to make me miss him and so far I've resisted, but it hurts. I'm trying to be strong and remember what a jerk he is. Unfortunately, with things being as bad as they currently are with my husband, I am so in need of some male attention right now. Please help me stay strong.

Thanks, Blue-eyed

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 5:20pm
Blue, At times I feel like you do but I find the courage deep inside to not give in as easy as it would be. I know its hard but its harder with all the stress your dealing with when the relationship is full blown. Stay strong okay, You can do it, You can do it , You can do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 5:40pm
Thanks so much - I know you're right. I think I can I think I can :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 5:46pm
You can do it! If I can do it you can too. We will be strong for each other. If you need some one to vent on go for it....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 6:01pm
Good plan! I do need to vent - I get soooo sick of going over this over and over in my mind. I know that xMM is a complete and utter jerk, he hurt me really bad and I do not want to allow him to ever do that again. He's a serial cheater, he's selfish, the list goes on and on. But in a weak moment, I miss how he smells (not bad - hahaha), I miss how he kissed me, his touch, blah blah blah. And the fact that he's emailing how he misses that is driving me crazy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 6:17pm
When I start to get sad I like to think of the bull crap I put up with for 5 long years and knew that nothing was going to come out of my wasted energy so that even pisses me off more( am I allowed to say that?) So get mad and the selfish person he was. YOU DESERVE BETTER WE DESERVE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 10:24pm
Blue

Because of that serial cheating rapest your no longer injoying the hugs of your HUSBAND, the kisses of your HUSBAND the smell of your HUSBAND or the LOVE OF YOUR HUSBAND he did this to you and are you really tempted by this home wrecking jerk, he has effectively destroyed your family and youe life how much more are you going to let him do to you and your HUSBAND.

I don't buy this stuff that he can not be blocked at work I am in the IT bus and your network people can block anyone they want to, just tell them your being harrased and that you need this guy blocked they can do it in minutes.

You don't need male attention you want it, or rather your ego wants it.

X married cheating jerk cannot force you into a relationship you do not want, you choose to or you choose not to have anything to do with him but it is your decision not his the power is yours not his, the responsiblity for the fallout is yours not your HUSBANDS.

JMHO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 1:21am
Hey I have kind of had a bad day too. I felt"in love" and missed him. But I have had some strong days lately too. So I say--let's get through this tough day and try again tomorrow. I just had to block him from my email and IM. We've been around and around with this and I know exactly where it goes--nowhere and then I'm back to square one with PAIN and WASTING my life. So what the hey--I guess i'll stick with NC today.

Survive

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 11:41am
Thanks for the idea about calling IT. I just figured because I couldn't find the option on my work email that blocking wasn't available (I'm not terribly computer inclined, but I was able to find how to block on my yahoo account all by myself).

I completely agree with you regarding how b/c of xMM, I don't enjoy my H. But, I don't think all blame can be laid on me. My H & I were rarely having sex prior to my A (he was never in the mood), then I had the A, then H found out about it last spring, and he says he's forgiven me, but he literally refuses to be initmate. I can count on one hand the times we've been initimate since he found out, and that's been 6 months. Last night I really gave a go at it and there was nothing, no response. I started to cry b/c I just don't know how to get it back.

I DO NOT want to go back to xMM and I have been working really hard at it and so far have been successful. I just feel lonely I guess. But I WILL NOT go back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 4:14pm
Blue

Did you and hubby ever get any professional help to deal with the problems that pre existed the affair.

Did hubby ever have his hormone levels checked to see if there were any physical problems?

Your hubby needs to get help dealing with the emotions, just deciding that you forgive your spouse does not heal the wounds.

I am a big fan of fixing marriages but if you are unable to get your hubby totally involved in doing the work that needs to be done then a legal seperation and only have above board relationships/dateing and stay away from Mr tiny Penis.

If you use Outlook for your mail at work then all you need to do to block him is to bring up one of his e-mails then click on Messages > then click on BLOCK SENDER > very easy just follow any prompts you see.

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