Having withdrawals

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
Having withdrawals
20
Fri, 11-27-2009 - 11:31pm
Right about now, I am having bad withdrawals and I am dangerously close to texting him! Please, say something to talk me out of it. I really want to do the no contact thing but I am feeling weak for some reason. Maybe it is the holidays, I don't know...but it is killing me that he can go days and not think about me! I am just a passing thought in his little brain and I can't stop thinking about him. How do I get him out of my head? Short of using chemicals to do it!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2009
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 12:10am

Just start counting to 100 backwards and if still doesn't work start counting to 1000.After that start taking deep breaths and relax and close your eyes and take a picture of your kid and H if you are married if not think of something that makes you laugh like something from childhood.

It works.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 12:22am

I am not as experienced on the giving advice as some on here but I will give it a try........


Read-a book, The Healing Library, Websites about addiction or codependency or about building your self image, MAS (no offence to anyone)...anything that helps you to see that contacting him would do no good. There are some fascinating free eBooks and articles on the Internet. I am currently reading The Most Personal Addiction. It is about sexual addiction (I am not a sex addict)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 10:01am

Hey, how do you feel this morning? I hope you didn't text him last night...and even if you did, today is another day and a new chance to start over:) When I went NC (outside of work, we are LC at work), I usually would just shut my phone off as soon as I would get home. This way temptation was easier to battle for me, and would stop obsessive checking the phone every 5 minutes to see if he texted or called himself.

Every time you think about contacting him, think what it will accomplish. NOTHING at this point, or you won't be in the process of ending. Nothing you can do and nothing he may say will change the situation. I am not familiar with you story, but the only way to overcome the pain is to feel it through. Cry until you're numb. Breathe deeply to alleviate the anxiety. Grieve death of your relationship and your fantasies and dreams.

But do not contact him. You don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you can't be without him. Because you can.

Good luck, and stay strong.

Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 1:04pm
No, I did NOT text him last night or this morning. Believe me, I was going to! I even scripted it out and never sent it. Thank you for all the advice. No, I don't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking I can't live without him. Because I can...and I will. I was thinking this morning how he spent thousands and I mean thousands to try to get his "sick" wife better. She doesn't even deserve it. I give and give until I am blue in the face and what do I get in return?? NOTHING!! Oh, except heartache and no text on Thanksgiving. I am in a good place right now. I think it will pass.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 2:16pm
Good for you for not texting. I was not strong today. I sent my xMM a text stating that I was sorry about our last conversation and know that we just cannot be friends. It was just a nice "goodbye" text even though we have been over with for a long time but we were trying to be friends...that didn't work either. However since I will have to see him socially I just wanted to clear the air for when we do have to see one another. He did text back but it was nothiong I wanted to hear but he agreed with what I wrote(the friends thing is not working)....just more reason for me to feel hurt by him. I never learn my lesson, that is why I am in the same messed up place I have been for 3 1/2 years. When will I stop hurting myself???

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 4:04pm

Congrats. mom on not sending the text!


You thought about all that it would mean and how in the end it would only work against you.


Good job...keep it up. NC=No new hurts!


Much love and big hugs,


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you cant you are probably right.


A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.



Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 5:55pm
Well...don't pat me on the back so fast...I blew it and friggin texted him to ask how his Thanksgiving was!! I couldn't help it!!! I also knew he was at work today and knowing that he was not at home with his wife was just too much temptation for me not to text. It really was a no big deal convo but contact nonetheless. I actually felt a "relief" after I did it. Is that sick or what??
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 7:39pm

You’re right.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 7:53pm

<>


So Sad, I've heard different versions of this but what it boils down to is...you contacted xAP. You think you had a good excuse but really it was not and here is why. In social situations you could say hi and move on, guess what he would figure it out.


Words, words and more words....that is what the A is usually about...words, words, words.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 9:09pm
You are all so right. I think part of the problem though is I think that

Pages