Having withdrawals
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Having withdrawals
| Fri, 11-27-2009 - 11:31pm |
Right about now, I am having bad withdrawals and I am dangerously close to texting him! Please, say something to talk me out of it. I really want to do the no contact thing but I am feeling weak for some reason. Maybe it is the holidays, I don't know...but it is killing me that he can go days and not think about me! I am just a passing thought in his little brain and I can't stop thinking about him. How do I get him out of my head? Short of using chemicals to do it!

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Thank you so much for your response E1. I agree with you 100% with all that you wrote, I just wish
So-sad :)
It's good you recognize the addiction and so you'll understand that you will have to gear up to do battle against it.
Yes, it is an addiction. I am seeing that more and more and I too will visit this board and read every day. The healing library is a great resource as well. I wrote this poem a few months ago-maybe I should place it in the healing library but I wrote it when I was angry and hurt and ready to give it up:
Drawn to you, not sure why
I let it control me, make me cry
But not anymore
I am finished with you
I am done obsessing and feeling blue
There is a new outlook on life you see
You will no longer take control of me
I have been stupid but now it’s clear
Cutting my losses is my cross to bear
I will be free in the end, relieved to hear
That my energy will no longer be spent
Thinking of you, I will relent
It made me feel better writing it. I crave this man like a drug addict craves his drug of choice. I am ashamed of this but it is true. Thanks for all the support.
Don't feel ashamed about craving a drug.
Hi Clarity,
Words cannot describe how important your advice and encouragement means to this board.
I read though your posts and I could not have picked any other words to say it better.
I hope your words will encourage and inspire others to make the changes necessary to live a fulfilling life away from xAP.
Much love and big hugs for all that you give to this board,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Hey Clarity
Thanks so much for your reply. I feel like an expert on this endings stuff, I have done it so many times. I know I will get through to the other side as I have done this before, I will do it again. The problem
What has always helped me get through an ending is when I knew that my xMM was hurting as well. He always seemed like he was just fine whenever I would see him after a break up. This drove me mad. It hurt like h@ll to know I was suffering and he was going on in his life happily.....grrr
But one time when we broke our N/C and talked about how we felt. I asked him how he got over it so quickly. He said that he did not get over it, he was hurting terribly inside but b/c he works, runs a huge national company, travels, has extensive family obligations he was just busy and did not have time to dwell on how sad he was. That made me feel better. So men do hurt and it does take them a while to get over feeling hurt and sad as we do.
I am here to support you. I am not sure I have great advice to give you but I can tell you of my experiences and how I handled them good or bad. Email me if you would like to.
Thank you for your kind words, E1.
I was going to say "ditto", but it was too Ghost-like :)
My addiction had such a fierce hold on me at one time that I repeatedly put myself in
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