Having withdrawals

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
Having withdrawals
20
Fri, 11-27-2009 - 11:31pm
Right about now, I am having bad withdrawals and I am dangerously close to texting him! Please, say something to talk me out of it. I really want to do the no contact thing but I am feeling weak for some reason. Maybe it is the holidays, I don't know...but it is killing me that he can go days and not think about me! I am just a passing thought in his little brain and I can't stop thinking about him. How do I get him out of my head? Short of using chemicals to do it!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 9:55pm

Thank you so much for your response E1. I agree with you 100% with all that you wrote, I just wish

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 11:08pm

So-sad :)


It's good you recognize the addiction and so you'll understand that you will have to gear up to do battle against it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 11:17pm

Yes, it is an addiction. I am seeing that more and more and I too will visit this board and read every day. The healing library is a great resource as well. I wrote this poem a few months ago-maybe I should place it in the healing library but I wrote it when I was angry and hurt and ready to give it up:


Drawn to you, not sure why


I let it control me, make me cry


But not anymore


I am finished with you


I am done obsessing and feeling blue


There is a new outlook on life you see


You will no longer take control of me


I have been stupid but now it’s clear


Cutting my losses is my cross to bear


I will be free in the end, relieved to hear


That my energy will no longer be spent


Thinking of you, I will relent


It made me feel better writing it. I crave this man like a drug addict craves his drug of choice. I am ashamed of this but it is true. Thanks for all the support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 12:37am

Don't feel ashamed about craving a drug.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 12:55am

Hi Clarity,


Words cannot describe how important your advice and encouragement means to this board.


I read though your posts and I could not have picked any other words to say it better.


I hope your words will encourage and inspire others to make the changes necessary to live a fulfilling life away from xAP.


Much love and big hugs for all that you give to this board,


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 8:57am

Hey Clarity


Thanks so much for your reply. I feel like an expert on this endings stuff, I have done it so many times. I know I will get through to the other side as I have done this before, I will do it again. The problem

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 12:30pm
So-sad, your EA sounds just like mine! We, too, are thrown together in real life for many things-work, events, same friends, etc. I also plan on sticking around on this board. It has been so encouraging and I think we can help eachother since our scenarios sound so much alike. Always seems so much easier for the man to get over an EA than a woman. It is like we put so much into it-it drives me crazy. After my "fall" yesterday, I am in a better place today. I am not contacting him in any way. There is one day we work together this week, towards the end of the week, but I am not putting any effort into running into him. If it is not work-related, we are not going to see each other this week. Wish me luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 1:13pm

What has always helped me get through an ending is when I knew that my xMM was hurting as well. He always seemed like he was just fine whenever I would see him after a break up. This drove me mad. It hurt like h@ll to know I was suffering and he was going on in his life happily.....grrr


But one time when we broke our N/C and talked about how we felt. I asked him how he got over it so quickly. He said that he did not get over it, he was hurting terribly inside but b/c he works, runs a huge national company, travels, has extensive family obligations he was just busy and did not have time to dwell on how sad he was. That made me feel better. So men do hurt and it does take them a while to get over feeling hurt and sad as we do.


I am here to support you. I am not sure I have great advice to give you but I can tell you of my experiences and how I handled them good or bad. Email me if you would like to.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 4:42pm

Thank you for your kind words, E1.


I was going to say "ditto", but it was too Ghost-like :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 5:08pm

My addiction had such a fierce hold on me at one time that I repeatedly put myself in

 

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