HAZEL????? Are you just lurking?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
HAZEL????? Are you just lurking?
12
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 4:42pm

Just wondering where you are... I miss your insight and your positive vibes. Hope you are doing well.

Hugs,

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 8:07pm
Me, too, Hazel.
Lurk if you need to. Or, take a break if that is what you want. Just know that we are here for you and sending you lots and lots of love.
xo
Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 9:50pm
..................


Edited 4/29/2010 5:31 pm ET by hazelrose2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 12:39am

<I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I'm still running>>


What are you running from Rose? Look in the mirror…you cannot run from the person staring back!


You’re looking for comfort and answers in all the wrong places! Have you "found what... looking for?"


Your post is emotionally disconnected like you are talking about someone else…like you're passing along a story matter-of-factly about someone you’re not very close to. Why do you think that is Rose?

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2008
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 7:01am

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I just ended my A on tues so I am no expert, but I did see my T last night, and I was telling her that I doubted my own strength and self esteem that I could have been involved with my AP for 17 mths - what is wrong with me? She assured me that I am not broken - I just used the A as a ticket to Disneyland to escape the incredible stresses in my life. A very poor way to deal with my problems.

Depression, an overbearing dependent alcoholic mother, a disconnected marriage, a child with a health crisis . . . it's a wonder I didn't drink a case of wine, eat a cake, AND have an A on a daily basis!!

I do believe NC is the only way to let the wound heal and to move forward. To begin to do the work that is necessary on my life and your life.

You CAN do it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 11:47am
...............


Edited 4/29/2010 5:30 pm ET by hazelrose2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 12:49pm

Oh Hazel,


I'm so sorry to hear this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 1:32pm

I know sometimes the posts are hard on this board but Hazel you need us. Most of us have been where you are. I remember when I was involved with xmm he wasn't the only guy I slept with (ugh). There was another guy whom I met while at a party at a nice hotel, two days later I was in bed with this guy. He was in town for three months and I slept with him three times. I remember feeling so good laying in that stranger's arms if only for one night. I had a real problem back then, Hazel and so do you right now. But there is hope. I got help. I went to T and really dug deep into what was making me feel so invaluable and low to give something as precious as my body to someone who didn't deserve it. Please stay on this board and post when you feel like you are going to do something that is going to further erode your self esteem. If you keep this up one day you are going to hit rock bottom and your whole world will fall apart. I hope the experience with the ONS shows you that XAP is JAM. Your behavior isn't about how great he is. It also is not about trying to get over him. It's about something deep within Hazel. I have been where you are and

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 2:20pm

Hazel,


Please do not think you have let us down. We are always here in spite of what happens and will always help eachother find the right course again.


Like songs said in her post, we are all drawn to Disneyland and feel we need an escape, I know I did. I needed to have fun, have someone make me a priority but now looking back, I should have made myself the priority. And thats what you need to do now.


None of us are immune from the set backs of breaking NC but please be sure to come here so we can all walk you through it in hopes to prevent it from happening again.


Love and hugs,


GMLB

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 2:40pm
..............


Edited 4/29/2010 5:30 pm ET by hazelrose2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 6:27pm

Hazel:


"There but for the grace of God..."

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