He actually told me!
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| Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:27am |
I knew he would not leave but I wanted to here him say it. When he married seven years ago, his wife's son was 5. His dad had abandoned them when he was 18 mon. for, yes another man. My MM said he could not look that 12 year old boy in the eyes and tell him he was leaving him and his mother. He said he could not abandon them like his father had done. I understand that he was going to have to walk away from everything and I was not walking away from anything because I am a single. He told me he loved me and if it were not for the boy he would be with me. Whether it's true or a line of crap it's ok. The only thing I worry about is what I talked about before, the cell phone bill. She controls all bills and I assure you she wants to see this bill because she suspects. The only thing is that if she exposes this A, he had better take the fall with me. Just from a few things that have happened, I have a feeling he will try to come out smelling like a rose and blame it all on me. It takes two to tango and trust me, he pursued me first and made the first move.
I am an editor & director for a TV program from a local church that MM & wife attend. He is also one of the directors. She could cause me to loose my job and smear my reputation. I refuse to be made to look like I chased him and it's all my fault. He will take the blame with me. If I go down, he's going down too. I need some advice.
Carla

No offense to MM, but is he STUPID to make and receive calls on a cell phone that his WIFE pays the bill for?!? If she does find out, there really is nothing that you can do about how MM reacts. I guess it's just a "wait and see" game at this point until the bill comes in.
How do you know that she suspects something?
I do not have contact with MM except every now and then at the TV program we tape at their church. Ususally it's either him or me directing, not together. We have been in NC since July 7 when I gave him the ulimatum.
Yes he is stupid about calling on the cell phone. I have thought about warning him, but part of me wants him to get caught and take some heat, but then I will have to take it too. Yes it is a waiting game.
You can just tell the way his wife acts. She will not leave us alone for any amount of time like she used too. They had a 4th of July party that I was invited too and some of MM friends were there. The wife did not feel good so she did not hang around much. I was with MM and his friends and MM was being very flirty and forward with me in front of his friends. When the wife of one of the friends told MM's wife the next week that I was flirting with MM and I must like him. MM told me because the wife got mad and fussed at him all day. He said he told her we were just close friends and if she had a problem to pack and leave like she always threatens. Now whether that is true or not, who knows. I don't quite understand how it turned into "me" doing it all...it was him big time. I told MM when I gave him the ulimatum that I was going to cut ties. You see, the wife was always inviting me over and wanting to do horsey stuff together. It was weird. You can read my post about "did I do the right thing" and see about that stuff. The chemistry between me and MM is so obvious, I know she suspects. She has stopped calling me, and I have backed off period. She was letting my daughter use her old show horse and I took him back along with his saddle. He is old and was eating me out of house and home with his expensive senior feed. She knows....she might be weird but she's not stupid.
They all do it when cornered like a rat in a trap.
Free
I would say the best thing to do would be to AVOID MM at all costs, including e-mails and cell phone calls. Keep any mandatory contact (i.e. work, family functions, etc.) brief and professional. If you don't hear anything from him in about a month, then I would assume that nothing came of the cell phone bill. Is there any excuse he could possibly give for you calling his cell phone or him calling your # from his cell phone???
:)
Circe
I agree with what Free said, they all come out smelling like a rose! And yes has been him more than me on the chasing and flirting stuff all along. I had to take back the saddle the wife let me use with her horse, and he was there along with the friends who informed her about the flirtaions at the 4th of July party. It was awkward to say the least. I could feel the tention and the eyes on me. I got out of there as fast as I could. Put the saddle on the porch and said gotta run. We are totally NC and he has not tried to contact me nor me him. I figure he is kissing her but to hopefully get her to not do anything about the cell phone bill. I have my own cell phone bill that shows all of his "incoming" calls to me that could be very damaging if used. I do not want to do that, but I will not be made to look like it was all my fault either. It is so confusing and I wish it would just go away. Have you been riding lately?
Carla
Yes, I had a lesson last night, and I will ride again tomorrow if the rain here doesn't interfere. I just got a new saddle, so I am dying to try it out! I usually ride h/j, but I rode in my trainer's dressage saddle a few weeks ago and fell in love with it, so I got one to use to help me with my leg position and security in my seat. I sometimes have a tendency to ride forward in the seat with my legs too far forward. It throws me off balance when cantering and especially jumping... The best part about the saddle was that it was a Wintec, so it didn't cost me a fortune, and it is completely synthetic, so it's very low maintence.
I don't own a horse yet, but I currently half board where I take lessons. I am hoping to be on a horse hunt within the next year or so! Any tips for a first time owner? It's always nice to meet and chat with other horse people. None of my friends or family are into horses, so I really don't have anyone to talk to or ask questions of lol.
So, Carla, does the single guy ride horses?????
Just wondering...
cl-nre
Yes this single guy is a horse guy. I don't know if he has any horses now but he has in the past. He is also a brother to xMM wife's first husband! If we did go out I do not want to hang around with xMM & his wife and I'm afraid that is what he will want to do because he is close to her and he thinks we are great friends. The wife has cut off all contact with me for about 2 to 3 weeks now. I'm glad but it is odd because she went from calling me everyday to not at all. I'm sure she is suspecting something because I took her horse back and I have been "not available". MM and I have had absolutely NC except for that one time we had to work on the TV program and it was only talking. The last time I talked to her she was very resistant to talk about the single guy or how he felt about me. She said that he said I seemed to be someone who would be fun to hang around with. I feel odd about just calling him up because I do not know him and have only meet him once. Right now I am just waiting to see what kind of waves the cell phone bill is going to bring. It is due to come out any time now. That is either going to be a splash or a titlewave.
Yes, I hope he stays as devoted to the step-son too. He and the wife have unresolved problems they need to work on ....hope they do. He told me he had never been unfaithful to his wife before because I asked. He claimed he had always prided himself in being faithful to her. He was very nervous when we got intimate. I kind of beleive him....but I guess it could be a line of bull too.
I'm doing good. Good has been faithful to me in giving me peace, stength, courage and wonderful friends and family and this awsome support board. Do I still miss him and love him....yes. Just today I thought about how much I missed just talking to him and laughing. But I do not dwell on it. I have accepted what is happening and knowing that I had the courage and strength to give him an ultimatum is very empowering. He has been respectful and not tried to contact me at all and I have not contacted him. It had to be this way or you can not heal and accomplish anything.
Carla