Liberty: There is no doubt I still have feelings for him. Yes, I am still affected by him and although it's getting better it still frustrates me. My A lasted 3 years and the feelings are not changing as quickly as I would like them to. It also doesn't help that I have to see him nearly every day. More than anything, it bothers me that I am treated differently from everyone else and I am concerned that others may notice this and wonder why.
I will not break NC and I refuse to let him see that he gets to me. These acts of outright rudeness have increased recently and I don't know the reason for that. It doesn't matter anyway. Having to put up with him for three straight hours today is most likely what sent me over the edge. I'm home now and I'm better.
There are going to be more days like yesterday so start preparing yourself for them. This is when you have to wear EXTRA protection garb and put on your indifference face. It doesn't matter if he's hurting or not, he's out of line. No doubt he stills cares but now he is outwardly displaying it just to hurt you back. A true example of displaced emotions. See it for what it really is and know his behavior is reflecting back on him, and people will notice. As long as you continue taking the high road, he is going to look like the A$$.
I hope you are feeling better today. Just be grateful you don't have to deal with it every day for 8 hours. I guess I was lucky in that my Xmm wasn't mean spirited when we ended it. Sure, some days he was curt and it cut like a knife but I knew why and was able to accept his childish ourpourings. He'll get tired of it eventually.
He is hurting........I know this to be true b/c I am treating my xAP with the same curtness as your xAP is treating you for the moment. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and I am hurt. I want to move past this and I know I will one day but for now I am trying to protect myself. The only way I know how to do that is to not be nice and friendly. Having to have L/C is horrible......This will pass....I guess all you can do is ignore... Silence is heard on both sides.
Thanks, Iddy, for coming to my rescue. I am doing better today, however I don't have to see him today because I'm working on a school assignment instead of going to my actual job. Yesterday I wanted so badly to lambaste him for treating me that way in front of everyone. I was so angry. I know it's best to take the high road and I will continue to do just that.
Thank you for allowing me to vent, and thank you for caring!
I am so sorry I am a day late responding to this. I could just come there and kick your xap right in the A$#. I had to deal with a similar situation with my xap when we were still working together and I swear that smoke came out of my ears, litearlly.
You, my dear, have been a becon of strength for me on my journey and I hate to hear how riled up you got. But it does sound like you are better today. Iddy is right, be prepared for more of this in the future. But eventually, it will even out. He can't be hurt forever. Just take the high road as someone suggested- it never fails... ever.
Stay strong and on your path. Dont worry too much about his behaviour you only have control over your own. Be professional and kill 'em with kindness :) I really really admire you and your strength..Anybody who has to deal with LC is stronger than they believe they are. I think I would go insane. I am feeling just awful and I dont have to deal with him on any level. Hang in there CSN! He doesnt deserve a reaction out of you. It is ok and normal to feel your frustration but vent to close ones or us :)))
CSN -
CSN,
6mos post A and you're still affected by him?
Thanks to all of you for your support.
Liberty: There is no doubt I still have feelings for him. Yes, I am still affected by him and although it's getting better it still frustrates me. My A lasted 3 years and the feelings are not changing as quickly as I would like them to. It also doesn't help that I have to see him nearly every day. More than anything, it bothers me that I am treated differently from everyone else and I am concerned that others may notice this and wonder why.
I will not break NC and I refuse to let him see that he gets to me. These acts of outright rudeness have increased recently and I don't know the reason for that. It doesn't matter anyway. Having to put up with him for three straight hours today is most likely what sent me over the edge. I'm home now and I'm better.
Thanks and ((hugs))
CSN
CSN,
There are going to be more days like yesterday so start preparing yourself for them. This is when you have to wear EXTRA protection garb and put on your indifference face. It doesn't matter if he's hurting or not, he's out of line. No doubt he stills cares but now he is outwardly displaying it just to hurt you back. A true example of displaced emotions. See it for what it really is and know his behavior is reflecting back on him, and people will notice. As long as you continue taking the high road, he is going to look like the A$$.
I hope you are feeling better today. Just be grateful you don't have to deal with it every day for 8 hours. I guess I was lucky in that my Xmm wasn't mean spirited when we ended it. Sure, some days he was curt and it cut like a knife but I knew why and was able to accept his childish ourpourings. He'll get tired of it eventually.
Hang in there, honey.
~Iddy~
Thanks, Iddy, for coming to my rescue. I am doing better today, however I don't have to see him today because I'm working on a school assignment instead of going to my actual job. Yesterday I wanted so badly to lambaste him for treating me that way in front of everyone. I was so angry. I know it's best to take the high road and I will continue to do just that.
Thank you for allowing me to vent, and thank you for caring!
CSN
CSN-
I am so sorry I am a day late responding to this. I could just come there and kick your xap right in the A$#. I had to deal with a similar situation with my xap when we were still working together and I swear that smoke came out of my ears, litearlly.
You, my dear, have been a becon of strength for me on my journey and I hate to hear how riled up you got. But it does sound like you are better today. Iddy is right, be prepared for more of this in the future. But eventually, it will even out. He can't be hurt forever. Just take the high road as someone suggested- it never fails... ever.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Your sisters are so right!