He blames it on me

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
He blames it on me
3
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 1:38pm
MM has this pattern. He knows we are done and have been for awhile, and that i am starting a R with someone new. MM (=master manipulator LOL)....and he says he's moving states away in June w/ w. HIS decision. i only started seeing new guy after mm decided this. He has this way of befriending me, and then he finds out (friendly, like in a "can we work on us" kind of tone) where me and new guy are. Then no matter what my answer, he says THAT is the reason he can't leave w. He tried to make it sound like they were seperated because nothing else was working on me anymore, but THAT one worked. THen finally i realized, they are not!! Nothing really has changed, nothing permanent. So then becuase i told him i had been with the new guy he said i have no self worth, called me names, and siad i was the reason he can't leave w. It's okay...i can see now that NC is the only way to go, and while i had been pretty good at NC, he always knew what to say to get me to listen to him. BUt now i am done, i just had to write here becuase i cant' believe the lengths this man will go to to destroy me and my self esteem. He could have had me at anytime over the last two years. Isn't just moving on with life enough? Why does he have to use what he knows about me to destroy? sad and confused, jen
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 1:47pm

Hey jenn

Hang in there! I continue to be amazed at what I read here that some of these MM say/do.

You wrote -
"So then becuase i told him i had been with the new guy he said i have no self worth, called me names, and siad i was the reason he can't leave w."

Jenn - this comment from him could actually be turned around and you can feel good, because he is in such a pathetic state to say something like that. He is obviously jealous and wants everything, and is frustrated by his inability to make a firm decision one way or another.
I am sure you feel bad and are hurt by his comments, but really "he" is the one that is a "sorry xss" person.

I don't have the extent of others' experience or time in an A, but I just wanted to help reassure you somehow....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 7:10pm

>>"I am sure you feel bad and are hurt by his comments, but really "he" is the one that is a "sorry xss" person."<<<

Ya that sounds about right.

He is clearly not worth your time or tears, hang on to the new guy he has got to be a big step up from this loser.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 11:49pm

Hey Jen,
I just posted a reply to Hurtpup regarding a very similar situation. It's all about emotional control and manipulation. The reason he feels he can get away with it is because he can, or should I say COULD in the past. He is still trying to control you, there is absolutely no doubt about that. Take the bull by the horns and don't let this person back into your life in any way, shape or form.
Friendship does NOT work, it will only continue to hurt you and prevent you from moving on to what can be a wonderful, happy and fulfilling life. The only option is for him to no longer have access to you. Change your email and phone numbers. I never said I would but I did and I can't believe how much happier and relieved I am.

He calls you names because you are moving on and dating? I take it you ARE single right? What's up with that? Yep, he's a MAJOR cake eater that one is. I may get in trouble for this one but I do believe your XMM falls into the same category as mine, the selfish, insensitive dick head category. I wish you all the best on your new journey.

CGU