He Broke NC....and I let him :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
He Broke NC....and I let him :(
17
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 12:52pm

Well, he called me today.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 1:06pm
Is anyone there?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 1:24pm

((((( Mickey))))) I think I am the only one here right now, but I am pretty sure that you will get responses soon. I wish I could say all the right things to you, but I feel messed up myself, so I really don't know what I can say to help you.

I think the email you sent him , is a very good email. You had to do it this way, Mickey, because otherwise he would have contacted you again in such a stupid way and the hurting would never end.

I wish I could say more and better things to comfort you :(

Hugs
htgo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 1:34pm

I'm sorry ((((Mickey)))) that you


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 1:40pm

Thanks How,


I have a meeting in an hour so I'm trying to pull myself together....it just hurts.


Part of me feels like a nut case b/c I really think he thinks it's 'no big deal' to just chat once in awhile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 1:48pm

I'm sorry that you are experiencing so much pain right now. But please know that it will get better.

Unfortunately my xAP did what yours did with the "just calling to check in". I couldn't understand his motives, but it doesn't matter, because nothing you say is going to change the outcome. It upset me cause why all of a sudden was he caring enough to see how I'm doing when he knew d*** well how I was doing. I felt like it was a personal attack, that he was rubbing salt in the wound, he breaks my heart and then wants to show me how great he's doing!?!? Of course this made me more upset, and that's when I realized that it doesn't matter what he says, it's still going to hurt.

With your email you have made it perfectly clear that you wish to no longer have any contact with him. If that man does nothing else good in his life, I hope that he affords you the courtesy of following your request. It's hard to say that to the man you've been professing your love for all this time, but it's done now. Resisting the urge to pick up the phone is horrible when he calls, but you have proven to yourself that nothing good will come of it. I have been NC for a little over 3 weeks, and the main reason is because I'm so very tired of hurting myself.

Hugs and my thoughts are with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 2:24pm

Mickey -


Wow.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 2:35pm

Just sending a (((BIG HUG))) your way...chin up, girl :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 2:54pm

Dear Mickey,


look - whatever happened, happened. I guess if you hadn't taken this call none of this would've happened. But, you did. And so there you are. Let's go from here.


I think it won't take you long to bounce back. Once you've made progress with NC and then you slip up, it's not as hard to pick yourself up as it initially was.


What you know now is, he didn't call to say anything important (at least it doesn't sound that way) and you also know that he said "ok" when you asked him not to contact you. I hope these two things will help put it behind you Mickey..


Big Hug,


Sunshine

.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 3:13pm

I hope you are feeling a bit better. Lots of hugs to you. I know exactly how you are feeling. Only thing different is when I express how I feel to him I get NO response not even an OK LOL. It hurts everytime I think I will get some sort of closure from him. I am getting from your e-mail you just wanted to get it out there. From the million "farewell" messages I have sent. It meant nothing to him. I think now this is just a thought and I am throwing it out there.. he called to see how things stood. Well you weren't welcoming and he put up that defense. However if you were "oh how I missed you blah blah.. the conversation would have played out differently. So whatever was said dont take it personally. You didnt stroke that ego of his and it kinda hurts (anyone). Please stay NC .. he doesnt deserve you! Oh and usually when I break NC it hurts so bad for the first 48hrs and then it subsides. Thats me though. Now I am just dealing with the recovering process.

Hang in there.. hope your meeting went well :)

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.
--Shawn Alexander
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 3:19pm

Hi Mickey,

You said:

"I wish I didn't care about him so much....I wish I was indifferent.....I wish I didn't read into things he said to me....I wish I could just go back to being 'another friend' to him....but I can't do it. I can't do it!! It hurts to talk to him and I'm so sick of hurting."

You have to keep trudging on. Sure, you tripped on a pot hole but pick yourself up and keep moving forward. You can do it. You need to do it for your health. Please take care of yourself right now! Part of doing that is to keep on moving forward. Don't dwell too much on this past mistake just move on and learn from it. We all make mistakes please don't beat yourself up too much about it.

I think you are learning that talking to him doesn't make you feel any better.
You sound like such a caring, warm, and generous person. You have many wonderful qualities. You have offered so much help to so many other people on this site. Please take your own advice and take care of yourself.

Take care,
Luv




Edited 1/11/2010 9:28 am ET by luvmytwocs

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