he broke NC...ripped up inside...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
he broke NC...ripped up inside...
1
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 7:43pm

D-day was Dec 17 (H knew for a week prior but told me he knew on the 17th). I called xAP with H's permission on the 22nd to tell him that the A didn't ruin our marriage, that H and I would work it out, and that we should never text or call again. He went further to say that he won't be at the neighborhood parties anymore. We haven't had any contact since.

I was walking the dog today and saw him go out and start his truck. It was long after he should have left for work, and although I did look to see if it was there, I didn't for a second think I'd see him. Well, an hour later I got a text from him that said, "How was xmas? txt2day.com" It was from his phone #, but I couldn't imagine he'd contact me, I just figured it was H checking up in some sneaky way that would make me think xAP was contacting me. I then found in my phone web history a link to a spyware site. I asked H if he put spyware on my phone, and he said he tried but it didn't work. He's right, because I'm not on a GSM network, and the site even says it won't work on my network. But the more I looked at the text, the more it sunk in that xAP actually texted me.

It tore my stomach up all day thinking about it. H and I are trying to work through this, and he's not doing well. He is so betrayed, so sad, so heartbroken, and I am such an awful person for even considering getting back in touch with AP when I'm promising to work on my M with all my heart. So I did it. I went to the site and texted him to call me. He didn't do it. So now, stupid stupid me, I'm wondering, did I text him and his wife found it? did I just get busted by my H who was somehow spying? did he think the better of it and refuse to call? so I'm back in the trap again. and I can't believe i'm stupid enough to consider breaking NC. I'm sad and missing him, but jeez, how stupid can i really be????

i guess he misses "it" too...why, why, why, can't he be one of those jerks that just moves on with life??? i'm gonna sit in bed and cry tonight...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 10:05am

I'm no expert on this by any means, but I couldn't let your post sit here without replying with (((HUGS))) first of all.


Are you still committed to working on your marriage? Do you think it would be best to keep to NC yourself, whether or not the XAP texts again, whether or not you suspect your H is checking up on you, etc....?


How to Walk Away -- Once and for All

_________________________________________________