He called

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
He called
7
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 1:26pm
He called! And I DIDN'T answer! About a half hour ago, my cellphone rang. I have it in my bag so I took it out, I thought it was a friend of mine since she's the only other one who calls me on it, but it was HIM! I sent it to vm and he left me a message: "Hi, it's me, call me when you get a chance". He sounded sad, maybe disappointed that I didn't answer. I can't believe I didn't answer. This is a huge step for me! Should I call him back, I don't want to. I want to be strong. If I call him back, I can't just chit chat, I will break down, I know I will. I think it will make more of a statement if I don't call back at all. I really have nothing to say. I haven't spoken to him since last Friday, I can't believe I made it this far!



OMG I just got a bad headache. My stomach is all jittery.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
In reply to: nycgemini
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 1:36pm
NYC...

Dont call him! If you wanted to talk to him you would have answered right??

Be strong girl..Its not easy to go from one thing to just plain chit chat..DONT CALL HIM.

Call someone else if you feel the need to talk to someone..talk to a friend at work..get up and move away from your phone..anything!!

Hugs

MB

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
In reply to: nycgemini
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 1:49pm
I tend to agree. I too am trying to not answer the phone when my exOW calls. It is difficult because I don't avoid calls generally. But just think of the stress that conversation will cause you. It isn't worth it. Good luck with everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
In reply to: nycgemini
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 1:51pm
I agree with MB!

You need to be strong, NYC! If you can make it through this time without calling, it will start to get easier. If you give in, you'll be back to square one.

Be STRONG!

Post to us again when you feel weak!

You CAN do this!
Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
In reply to: nycgemini
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 1:56pm
stay positive dont call.

just think about who is in controll now....dont give in!!!!!

my om checked for me this morning and i feel GREAT knowing he knows i was not there waiting for him like i always do.

be strong and be proud of yourself....he probably was probably going to talk about his day anyways and not your!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
In reply to: nycgemini
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 2:08pm
Thanks everyone for the support. It's been an hour and I haven't called. I only feel 50% compelled to call, whereas a week ago it was more like 99%. Last week when he called I couldn't answer fast enough, but today, when I saw it was him, I thought for a second, then quickly put it to voicemail before I could change my mind. I do wonder why it was that he called. I guess it was nothing important or he'd have left a more informative message. I am sure he's calling just to see how I am (which is why he called last week). Of course I hope it's because he's realized he's made a terrible mistake and wants me back, but I'm sure that's not it. It's so about the control, and I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was not happy that I didn't answer. I don't want to be at his beck and call. He is no longer in control - he gave that up when he chose to cut me out of his life. I know he is surprised I didn't answer, since he knows I am still pining away over him. But, let him wonder.... he's put me through enough pain this week and a half, let him lose some sleep over it if it's bothering him. I'm sure he won't, but if he does, oh well.

Thanks you guys for helping me through this. Just need to get through tomorrow and then I will be fine for the weekend. Like I said before, baby steps!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: nycgemini
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 5:03pm
Definitely do not call him back. If you're like me, just hearing his voice will throw you into an emotinal turmoil and make it that much harder to control yourself. I think I can honestly say that I'm sorry I broke the NC, it's been hell on me emotionally, so don't let it happen to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
In reply to: nycgemini
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 7:01pm
Nycgemini,

My OM called me as well. My cell phone rang on Monday, and I saw it was him. I didn't answer it, nor did I call him. And I'm glad. What's the point? I'm done with it, and I have no desire to go back into it. It's been three weeks or so since it ended. I haven't seen him and don't want to. You can get through this phone call thing without calling him. You'll just regret it if you do, most likely.

Good luck!