He called me again

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
He called me again
5
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 1:09pm
Its obviously a pattern. He drinks too much and calls me in the middle of the night. This is the 2nd weekend in a row. Last weekend he didn't say anything, just left annoying sounds like holding the phone up to the radio or something. This weekend he attempted to talk, but it was that drunken slur which agitates me for many reasons and I couldn't understand anything he was saying anyway.

The bad thing is that the message made me think about him for a while and feel just a bit guilty that he's in alot of pain. That much of his message I could understand. He said something like "I'm not doing well." The good thing is that I feel extremely confident that I did the right thing in ending the A. C'mon, folks, is there anything less of a turn-on than a drunk slobberin' into the phone in the middle of the night????? I guess I'm in one of those phases where I almost couldn't care less. The scarey thing is that I know this too shall pass.

Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 1:48pm
Hi Mo,

I am sorry to hear that he called again, especially in that state. That really sucks! I have to tell you that it sounds selfish of him to call you like that. (sorry to say that) You sound like you are doing so well. Both ending your A and moving on from alcohol. I find it truly impressive that you are able to tackle all these things at once. I can barely handle ending the A. You are a smart strong lady. Its normal to feel bad for him but you know what that is what he wants you to do. He probably knows you all too well and knows that you have a kind heart and would want to help him. The only person you should be helping now is YOURSELF! STAY STRONG!!!!! Dont fall into the trap. We all know how hard it is to get out once you fall in. You know I am the queen of back and forth emotions, so I know that your annoyance will probably turn into pity but try to keep it in perspective and look how far you have come. I am truly impressed w/ your strength and great advice!!

Be well. {{{{{HUGS!!!}}}}

xo!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 2:54pm
Hey Dipss, thanks for the kind words. I was truly annoyed at him this weekend. He knows very well that I'm an addict/alcoholic and I work hard to stay clean and sober. DUH!!! I don't need to get phone calls from drunks! Frankly, I've been out of the party-scene so long (just about 19 months!) that listening to him was almost embarrassing for him, he sounded so stupid and pathetic, and I can well remember my days of making those drunk calls to people in the middle of the night.

The other thing that is rather upsetting to me is that after I was clean about 1 year he admitted to me that he was an alcoholic (which I have no trouble believing!) and he started going to meetings and was sober about 3 months when we broke up. Now I know that no one else can make you drink/drug if you don't want to, I just can't help feeling that I didn't make it any easier for him to stay clean/sober. Oh well.

Yeah, I'm a tough cookie. Thanks, Dipss. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 2:58pm
I think it's called "drink and dial" and can be even more dangerous than "drink and drive." LOL We've all made those kind of phone calls and lived to regret it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:00pm
How right you are! I always say heck with taking away just the car keys; take away the cell phone too! You can do almost as much damage with that. There should be an offense (just a misdemeanor) called "dialing under the influence" or "dialing while intoxicated." Nope, I don't miss those days.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 4:33pm

"C'mon, folks, is there anything less of a turn-on than a drunk slobberin' into the phone in the middle of the night????? "


Oh, yeah, there's something worse! He could be slobberin' on you!