He came around!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
He came around!
18
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 6:49pm

Oh gosh…


NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 7:50pm

ILost,


That had to be very unsettling to say the least however he hasn’t broken any laws and can drive down a street near his residence which is all he has done other than the calls you received from an unknown number.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 8:22pm

What a psycho he is. I hope he won't become a stalker and you won't need to go down an ugly path with filing restraining orders and such. But really, some men are just beyond hope.

XOXO
Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 8:56pm

Thank you Empowerment for your advice, and I will take it into consideration.


I am not affraid of him stalking me, per se, and I am not going to file a restraining order.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 9:20pm

Lost,


Maybe he is bored or wanted to know if he still has that power.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 10:53pm

Liberty,


You know that is an excellent question! I am almost 5 months NC and I was doing pretty damn good the first 3 months...but lately I been having set backs.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:25pm

In your original post you wrote:


<<You know he’s a total sociopath.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 1:29am

Thanks E1! ;)


You know this site is a good place for documenting things too because I can always say that I posted on such and such site my fear of xAP stalking or harrassing me... everything we type on message boards can be used too.


Now, to clairfy before I tell you my story... I do believe it takes a lot more effort to obtain a restraining order on someone.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 3:35am

<>


Yes and no. The problem comes in linking the post to you. By having the print out and claiming it is you who posted it…Ehha the judge may or may not buy it. Keep in mind the post does not have your name or your xAP’s name. If you are talking about linking it to you via IP addresses, now you are talking about warrants being served to internet companies and either you have big bucks to pay a lawyer to do it or you have the police involved on more than just a harassment case.


I was trying to avoid bring this up as I wasn’t trying to alarm you but there is another good reason why I suggested telling a close friend or family member if you are concerned.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 7:51am

E1

I think your advice was/is spectacular! You should come and work as a woman abuse counselor with me. Too often as women we minimize the risks to/in our situation and don't do what's required when advised, to keep ourselves safe(r) or provide proper documentation when we seek assistance.

The ending of a relationship is a very high risk time for women. If ex partners start to stalk and harass, the risk dramatically increases. I say, better to be mindful and forward thinking, than to wish later you would have kept what you needed to to prove your case.

LA - I hope this is the last you see of him. In the meantime, I hope you will take some of the suggestions that E1 has provided and implement them into actions, to just keep you safer in case your xAP is up to something.

My best,

TU

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 10:36am

TU,
when I had a stalker a few years ago I did some reading about ROs and was alarmed to read that violence often escalates after a RO. You being an abuse counselor, what do you think of that statement? Also, I read that a true stalker might even enjoy getting a RO because it further connects the Stalker to his victim - even to the point that the stalker will violate the RO just to have more real and RL contact with his victim in court. It's all very scary.

I agree wholeheartedly that documentation is an absolute necessity. So many women have stalkers and my heart breaks for them. It's terrifying.

oy,
Dee

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