He FINALLY called and.....
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He FINALLY called and.....
| Fri, 10-29-2004 - 3:43am |
After many promises over email that he would call and no calls, he finally called yesterday. When I looked at the caller ID , without a single thought I opted to "decline" the call.
I did see him online last night but unfortunatly for him it was after a few glasses of wine and a lot of reading this board. I think I must have scared him away because I haven't heard a word from him since....thank you Lord.....and this board!
I did see him online last night but unfortunatly for him it was after a few glasses of wine and a lot of reading this board. I think I must have scared him away because I haven't heard a word from him since....thank you Lord.....and this board!

They always do, sooner or later. Hats off to you for declining. YOU are the one who is now in control. YOU are the one who now has the power. WTG!
~True~
Wow it takes so much courage to resist the temptation, I am so proud of you.
Keep it up you are on the right track.
Take Care
Ladybug
I'm proud of you for pressing that "decline" button, but I'm curious to know what, if anything, you said to him online last night.
It's been three solid weeks of NC for me, and I am feeling great! It's extremely empowering to know I'm in control. Poor XMM. He doesn't have a clue. He's called several times, and I continue to "decline". I don't want to deal with him at all; however, I'm concerned because I know I can't avoid him forever. He and W are "supposedly" friends with H and me and seeing him eventually is inevitable. If confronted, I intend to stay strong, keep a poker face and tell him, "I don't want to do this with you anymore. That's it. Leave me alone." It will surely be difficult. I think about him constantly. He's had such a strong hold over me for so long, but I'm determined to get out of this awful, hurtful situation I've put myself and my family into. Never again will I stray.
fresh
The IM conversation started with him asking me if I knew who he was (it's been so long since we've talked). My reply was that he looked familiar but I couldn't quite place who he is...maybe someone I used to know. The rest of the conversationg was just a few sarcastic exchanges back and forth and he quickly said he was tired and needed to go. Haven't heard from him since.
Good for you. You go, girl!!
Doesn't it feel so good to take back that control over our lives?
My XMM has still been calling although he knows the A is over. He calls asking if we can do lunch just to talk and be friends, talk about work related things since he has a new job with our company.
I have stalled him with excuses because I feel cruel saying an outright "no, get out of my life." But that is what it is going to take, I know that. I don't want him in my life as a lover, but have been "friends" with him so long that it is hard to break that connection, but I know I will have to do it. If not, i know him well enough to realize that he is only playing another game, trying to suck me back into the A, a little at a time, so I will have to say that final no. I can do it. He hasn't called for two days, but I kknow he will next week, and that's when he is going to hear the big "no"
You stay strong and so will I. We can do it.
Good luck.
Ip
It seems that you and I are in the same place right now. My XOMM (who seems to forget he is a XOMM) keeps in touch JUST enough to try to keep me on his hook. He's very controlling and his MO has always been to play hard ball, making me cave and come crawling back to him. His tactic has always worked in the past because I was so afraid to live life without him.
The tides have changed. This time I am calling his bluff. I no longer fear the pain and devistation of his rejection because I have already experienced it. The way I figure, what do I have to lose by sticking to NC? A relationship with a controlling jerk? What do I have to gain by being sucked back into the A? The lose of my family and friends who really love and care about me? The trade off is simply not worth it. I thank God every day that this whole mess has not caused me to lose the people in my life who REALLY care about me.
Yes, we CAN do it and we WILL DO IT!!!