He gave our goodbye speech in public!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
He gave our goodbye speech in public!!!!
3
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 9:25pm

We had to make a pubic appearance tonight. He was giving a speech...I had to be there to smile and make friendly, etc. It was to a charitable organization that helps people in crisis. He talked to them about suffering...then I swear his presentation was almost verbatim what he said to me when we ended our relationship (he was the one who had the guts to say it first, but I had stewed on it for two weeks before we finally ended things). I had to sit there with my face on fire, not sure whether to be angry or upset or what. He talked about sometimes you have to suffer because it's the right thing to do, that sometimes we will never understand why we find ourselves in these situations, that other people may never know what we are suffering inside, but that we endure it because it makes us stronger, and it's the right thing to do. A few times, he made eye contact with me, but very brief, except for one, pointed look. I looked away, at the ceiling, my feet, lint on the floor, the people in front of me...everything to keep from looking at him. When it was over, I bolted. Didn't say anything to him at all. Didn't even look at him. I wanted to say, "WHY did you do that??? What did you hope to accomplish??? Did you think you were sending me some kind of message???" Does he even realize what he did? Or was his goodbye to me some sort of speech he dredged up and used on me?

I got stopped by several people outside on my way to my car and he walked out there (even though he was parked on the other side) and stood nearby talking to other people, but never said anything to me. Of course, I only looked his direction once, and didn't make eye contact...more a glance to see what he was doing... I want this to be over. To that end, I am taking another job in another city a couple of hours away. I leave in three months. Haven't told him yet, but he told me once that he had heard rumours I might be leaving. Just don't know how I'm going to get through these next few weeks...except one day at a time.

Meanwhile, husband and I are growing closer...I really think we're going to make it. Unless he finds out about xOM. I'm praying he never does. I know he would never forgive me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 10:30pm

Pal

Hon just keep your focus on your husband and your marriage, you guys will make it, don't let XOM who never really was, succed in distracting you with is antics like this latest one.

Don't underestimate your husbands ability to understand and in time to forgive, also bare in mind that you really did not do much of anything with XMM.

You have made it this far and you will make throught the next three weeks or months what ever the case, everytime XMM kicks up his heels like this he will only strengthen you even if he does not know it.

Have faith in your ability to see this through we all do.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 10:33pm

Sounds to me, like your xOM has about as much "originality" as my left pinky toe.
Geesh, and to think that you wasted moments of your life, with him. Well, it should be more than obvious that he did you a favor by breaking things off.

Good luck with your hubby. Stay strong, and good luck on your move and new job.

Take Care,
Honey.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 11:39pm

Thank you all...again...

He has pulled some crazy antics here lately, which reminded me of something I saw on Oprah the other day. She quoted Maya Angelou saying, "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

I think I'm going to put that in a new post so others will see it. Pretty powerful, huh?