He has disappeared. 2 weeks not a trace
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| Wed, 01-05-2005 - 1:41pm |
Today Wednesday the 5th has come and gone.
After 1 and a 1/2 years of this LDA bull, leading to this one day.. it's come and is almost over.
I supposed I am relieved that it's finally done. I noticed today he has removed me from his buddy list- nice without any explaination.
2 weeks, just silence. 2 weeks of silence after months of planning this trip and I can't help but feel something. What I don't know yet.
I know he is a coward. I know his fears overcome him, and freeze him. I know he is a boss at work and a mietje- pu**y at home.
But what I don't know is why I don't deserve an explaination. Why I deserve to just be abandoned and deserted for doing nothing but what we've been doing for 1 1/2 years.
Why is it so damn easy to leave me be?? Can someone explain that. How can some people just leave others in the dust and never turn around? I am just not that kind of person.
I always feel people are worth more. I guess I am not. Otherwise I wouldn't be so easy to give up like old garbage.
thanks for letting me vent again..

Dear Mikko:
I am so sorry that you have been hurt so badly. I am afraid that it is going to hurt for a long time. But good for you for not contacting him. If you don't contact him your pain will go away sooner. After awhile--it really gets to be about the pain. It is too much. You have to do whatever it takes to help yourself now. Put yourself first above all else. Suffer and cry without him because he will never be there for you to help you get through it. I promise one day you will feel better but not any day soon. (((hugs))) The one good thing about the pain is that you learn to live just for one day--just to survive it. And living only in the day is the way we are supposed to live. I still have that even though the intense pain is finally over. Keep posting. We are here for you.
Survive