He left a msg...why
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He left a msg...why
| Thu, 05-26-2005 - 12:39pm |
I posted the other day that after 10 weeks (actually 11) of NC I saw the xMM downtown where I work. He pretended that he didn’t see me and that was the end of that. Well, I came into work the next day and there was a message on my phone that was left at 1 in the morning. He said that he had seen me that day and that I “suddenly” crossed his mind. He just wanted to say hello and that he missed “knowing” me….he said he wasn’t trying to re-established a friendship or anything and that is why he was calling in the middle of the night so he could just leave a message. He then said that he really missed me and hoped I was doing well because I deserved it and than he said goodbye. Why would he do this?

He did it because he's a jerk. He's manipulating you. By purposely calling at an hour when he knew he wouldn't reach you live, he essentially put the ball in your court to return the contact. He didn't want to be the first one to "cave," so to speak. Of course he hopes you're doing fine, blah, blah, blah. Listen honey, people don't think about you at 1 in the morning just because they hope you're well.
My XMM has a nasty habit of contacting me at stupid hours as well. But as I've been posting this week, I'm beginning to understand, REALLY understand, that I'm allowing that contact and allowing it to effect me. Now the ball's in my court to take an affirmative, door-closing step to keep him from manipulating me again in the future.
In response to your query why he would make this call? - to ensure that he stays on your mind. It was manipulative and mean and I can relate to your confusion and wondering why. I'm trying to move past the "why," and on to how can I make sure I prevent him (not that HE STOPS, but that I PREVENT HIM) from doing this to me again.
Just my .02. Love, Mo.
Stu
Does it really matter why he did this, has anything changed that would make it matter, not likely.
Delete the VM and resume no contact.
Free