He made Contact .. need help here
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| Fri, 12-24-2004 - 8:32pm |
HI
First of all MErry xmas to all - best wishes.. and happiness..
Its Xmas day, I went to sleep last night at about 12.15 and when I woke just now, I saw a missed call from xOM on my phone, followed by a text that he tried calling but no response. He wished me merry Xmas and said to wish my family, to take care and "be good". Whatever the be good means...
What do i do? Should I send a response "Same to you"? Its Xmas and I am so confused because there has been NC for 15 days now and this has suddenly loomed up befor me. I just hate to be unresponsive on Xmas, but if I respond he may take it as an opening to another chat or something. Apparently he was ill with jaundice and this was his first drink in a month. That sounded wierd because he had said nothing to me about the jaundice before we split up. This is his modus operandi, I think he expects me to say - OH be careful, you shouold not drink anyway after a bout of jaundice. Or Maybe he wants me to just generally show some concern which I am not going to at all. IF he was sick I am sure his family and friends who were so imp before looked after him well enough..
SO please please write back , I need some advice on this one.. being Xmas I do not know if I should ignore his wishes.. I would like to respond with a very short "same to you" but need to knwo if that would be a good idea..
Trish

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Trish
NO CONTACT FOR ANY REASON.
Free
I did not message him back.. feels a bit funny but i did not
My big worry is that if he calls what do i do, do i hang up.. This is worse to handle, I know he may try to call from ANOTHER number if I dont take his calls (the ones he makes from his phone) So if I hear his voice, do i just hang up? Its easier for me to think and control myself where a text is concerned, but if I hear his voice I dont know how I am goign to react..I am so scared I will just start talking, I still do miss him..
Whats to be done here?? How do I stop myself from saying Hi back.. gosh this is harder tahn I thought it would be :-(
Trish
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I know what worked for me once. I told an ex-BF
well do what I did this morning. Pick up the phone and hang it up. If that didn't give him a small hint then I dont know what will. He caught me at a really bad time mentally so it was easy for me to that this morning.
Remember what NRE said. We should ask that our NC be respected, atleast for the next week. So why don't u just tell XOM that you can't speak to him and really need your space. If he truly respects you and cares about you he will do that for you. He ca't force you to speak to him.
Lets stop making these little phone calls/texts/telepathic messgs a bigger deal than they are! Phone rings and we all freak out...Screw that. I feel like if XOM really wants to talk then he'll grow some ball$ and drive down here and knock on my door. Then I get to chew him a new orifice and finally get my anger out and my closure. I can gaurantee you that that probably won't happen though.
Jazzdiva
Thanks for your resposes to my posts, thats what I needed to know, if I should speak or not. Speak to basically communicate to xOM that I really mean what I said this time in my last and final letter to him and that I am not going to get all mushy on him like he expects - based on our past "breakups and makeups".
Because if I just hung up without saying a word he would put it to " she is still in a bad mood, wait it out a bit more". But if I say some firm words and then put it down, he will get the message.
Trish
Trish
You already said your goodbye, whats left to say. Any attempt from him to contact you at this point is blatant DISRESPECT of your wishs.
Decide in advance what your going to do if he calls and more then likely thats what you will do.
You need to see this person as a threat to your family and marriage, every attempt at contact is a deliberate attack on the well being of your Children and husband, if you respond it is a nail in the coffin of your marriage.... SO HOW SHOULD YOU RESPOND WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
Free
Free
Yes, reading your post made me think that the exact reason why I always got back together with him was because I responded to him everytime.. This time it will not work, however he tries to contact me, he is going to fail.
<>
That sounds so like him you know? Totally disrespectful in general.. totally egoistic and self centred.
Keep telling me like it is Free.. and all my other friends here who are supporting me.
Thanks
Trish
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