He obviously mailed it before he knew
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 03-02-2004 - 4:13pm |
In his eyes, we were moving along, everything was going great and we were thinking about moving in together. In my eyes, I just wasn't able to keep those promises. I felt so much guilt about his wife and daughter and even though it sounds so cliche, I felt like the stereotypical "homewrecker." I couldn't live with myself because of all the pain I was causing to others in making him happy; now I can't live with the pain that I caused him. I turned his world upside down in a single phone call. Is there any kind way to end this????
I'd like to try to explain my thoughts, actions, etc., more fully to him. I'd like to say a bunch of stuff I didn't say on Sunday nite about how I feel, but I know that's not fair either. Giving up the relationship means not offering any false hope about the future. My OMM was obviously in denial about all the subtle messages I've been sending in the past few months about my guilt and confusion. So to him it seems like this breakup came out of the blue. And I know that since he's a guy (no offense intended, its a "Mars" thing) he probably didn't spend alot of time "reading into" those subtle messages like I would have done. You know, "what did she mean by that?" and "hmmmmm, I wonder what that means." He must have just filtered it through and processed what he wanted to hear. The only way I could have been less subtle was to just end it.
I don't want to spend time agonizing over this. On the one hand, it's over and I know its the right thing. On the other hand, I just feel so awful about him being 1,000 miles away in a hotel room by himself trying to figure out what the heck happened. Any ideas? Anyone BTDT? Thanks for listening.

